Schnake

Guatemala

2012-01-24T11:50:00.000-08:00

This isn't the first time I've been here, but it may be the last.

I'm half-way through my third week of my 3rd 2-month long trip to Guatemala and things are going quite well. Spanish is coming along quite nicely, I'm on top of my work, and my skin is starting to return to a more normal color (after being in Alberta for 5 months).

So far I've: Drank a lot of coffee, climbed part of a mountain to stand under a waterfall, taught a theology lesson, written a short sermon in Spanish, talked a lot about politics, economics, and the news in Spanish, done a high ropes course, had terrible allergies most every day, read part of psychology text-book (in english), met with two different pastors to see if my team can partner with their churches at different times to learn about inter-cultural ministry and leadership, eaten cow tongue and blood sausage, had some nasty diarrhea, walked a lot, checked out a lot of cute girls, wanted to get drunk, slept really hard, avoided responsibility, felt apathetic towards a lot of things, spent more money than I usually do, and made this short video for the people back at school:

Ignore the 3 or so minutes of black after the video ends.

Global Economic Justice as Mission: An Analysis of Economic Globalization

2012-01-11T13:26:00.000-08:00

The world we live in is broken. Even in the most affluent nations there are many people who are hungry, cold, sick, oppressed, and poor. Today there are over 27 million people who are enslaved, being exploited for economic gain and controlled by violence.[1] Five million children under the age of five die every year from malnutrition.[2] There are over 30 million people today living with HIV/Aids.[3] But amidst all the chaos there are those who believe in the coming of the kingdom of God which will be peace on earth and good will towards human-kind. As servants of the Lord it is our duty to do all we can to proclaim the good news of the kingdom in sign, word, and deed. While this mission is simple, it also plays out in a wide variety of areas. There is one area in particular which has significant influence on the issues mentioned, and many more; that is the topic of economic globalization. It is the author’s intent to describe in this essay this current trend, the theological rational for a Christian response, and some suggestions which will move the Church towards action. The first question to ask is: What is the problem?

Toward an Understanding of Economic Globalization:

The term globalization is used flippantly and can mean a variety of things. The fact that one can go to a city in the US and find entire neighborhoods of people from other countries, the ease of communicating or traveling to all parts of the globe, or the presence of McDonalds and other “western” companies on every continent. This discussion will look more specifically at the systems in place which allow business and trade to happen between countries all over the world, or economic globalization. It should be noted that it is not particularly new for trade to happen from one part of the globe to another. The current trend we are experiencing does, however, seem to have unique attributes and requires new analyses.[4]

The ideology of Neoliberalism, in regards to market philosophy, is the first key facet to understanding economic globalization. In an essay by Ton Veerkamp entitled “Neoliberalism and Reclaiming a Theology of Economy,” this ideology is defined by low taxes, and minimal regulation of labor, finance and capital markets. It is the idea of a free-market economy in which there is little to no restrictions in the realm of business and transaction.[5] Before neoliberalism there was classical liberal economics in which the government was to protect private-property and allow for competitive market. However, through tensions and struggles in the form of labor movements, governments set regulations on markets and initiated welfare programs for the poor. Neoliberalism, then, began in the 1980’s by seeking to remove state welfare. It sees increased return and profit for those in charge of production to be the purpose of the economy.[6]

Neoliberalism relies heavily on the philosophy of utilitarianism. Utilitarianism is the idea that what is considered right or wrong is determined by the extent that it increases happiness and/or decreases unhappiness. On a basic level this isn’t entirely bad, but the way it is used by neoliberals is very individualistic. The “social” aspect of things is ignored and the individual is the sole determining factor for making decisions. Individualism, which is at the root of both utilitarianism and neoliberalism, is a belief which is deeply rooted in the western worldview and has implications on all aspects of society. Ultimatly, Veerkamp sums up the situation by saying, “The capitalist economies of the last two centuries reduced the pursuit of happiness to the pursuit of increasing individual (private) property.”[7]

Neoliberal/free-market theory stands in opposition to Marxist/communist ideas of society. Instead of the power being given to the working class people it is in the hands of the bourgeois, a ruling class of the rich and influential. The free-market philosophy defends itself with the idea of the “trickle-down effect.” If there is sufficient investment into the private-sector then everyone else in the economy will benefit. There is an egregious lack of evidence that this logic works at all. Moiseraele Prince Dibeela claims that large slum communities, which have been formed in large cities all over the world by people looking for jobs, are “the main effect of global capitalism on our planet today.”[8]

Free-market philosophy is considered by many to be the key to eliminating poverty in the world. Organizations like the IMF and the World Bank have promoted it and often imposed aspects of it on developing nations. Moiseraele points out the irony that this ideology is held so strongly as the only viable option by people from a part of the world which is obsessed with values of liberty and free thought. The free-market is thought to make an equal playing field where anyone can trade with whom they wish. Realistically, this just allows those who already have advantages, such as capital and technology, to dominate and exploit those who do not. As a result of this unjust system the poor have at times risen up to fight for their economic liberty. This happened in South Africa in 2008 when impoverished locals rioted and violently attacked foreigners who they felt were coming to steal their jobs and livelihoods. This is another devastating effect of the current global economic situation which will continue to occur if nothing is done.[9] Before moving to action, however, we must ask: What does God think?

Theological Reflection on Economic Globalization:

In light of this current reality, Christians need to be thinking critically about how to respond. What is the relationship between theology and economics? What does the Bible say about the poor and oppressed? What does it say about how we should use our money? Is our involvement limited to the immediate issues we see around us, or are we called to move to change the overarching systems which cause those issues? Here I will outline a few points from the heart of Christianity which will move us to an understanding of the role of the Christian in this present crisis.

Christianity stands in opposition to the philosophy of individualism, which the neoliberal ideology is built on. In John 17 Jesus prays that His followers may be one just as He and the Father are one. He also speaks of the relationship He has with the Father and prays that we may be brought into that relationship. It is from the unity of believers together in communion with the Godhead that “the world may believe…” (John 17:21). So the idea of being in interdependent relationship with other Christians and utterly dependent on God isn’t just for our own sake, but for the sake of our proclamation of the good news as well. Jesus also said a lot about what it looks like to follow Him. "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Mark 8:33-35). He said that the greatest commandment was to Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul; and to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30-31). These and many other Scriptures make it very difficult to see how a Christian could justify holding to the philosophy of individualism, or any ideology which is based on it.

It has been suggested that economic globalization has become an idol. The belief that it is the source of global economic salvation clearly dethrones Christ as the true savior and redeemer of the world.[10] Many also claim that economic globalization demands the allegiance of all for it to work properly. They have deep faith and believe that were free-market economy to be given complete reign it would naturally do what is best for human-kind.[11] According to Scripture, only God is sovereign and only God is to be trusted. The first commandment is, “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). Mathew 6:24 tells us, “You cannot serve both God and money.” Reliance on a man-made system, or fear of man, “will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” (Proverbs 29:25).

There is a huge theme of justice for the poor and oppressed in the Bible. Jesus tells us of the day of judgment when the King will separate the sheep from the goats (Matthew 25:31-46). He invites the sheep into the kingdom because they fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, invited in the strangers, clothed the naked, cared for the sick, and visited the prisoners. The goats, on the other hand, are sent to the eternal fire for simply not doing those things. In Luke 4:18-19 Jesus quotes Isaiah to introduce Himself and His mission as directly linked with the oppressed, the sick, and the poor.[12] The psalms speak of God as one who “raises the poor from the dust, and lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes” (Psalms 113:6-7). In one of his letters John asks, “How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?” (1 John 3:17). Scripture is clear that God is against poverty and oppression and it is our responsibility to work towards a world in which there is no more.[13]

In 2004 the World Alliance of Reformed Churches met in Ghana, Africa, and drew up a document called the Accra Confession. In it they describe the current situation of economic globalization as the root of a crisis of poverty and inequality around the world.[14] They go on to list out their confessions of theological convictions which require them to reject the situation and work towards a better world. They believe that God is sovereign creator and sustainer who invites us into partnership with God to create and redeem. As a response they reject the global economic situation which excludes the poor and others “from the fullness of life.” They also reject that which would deny God’s sovereignty, such as “economic, political, and military empire…” God’s covenant with creation, which is of justice, peace, and grace, blesses and includes all of creation. Therefore they reject the “competitive greed and selfishness” in the form of the neoliberal market system, or in the form of other systems that claim to be the only way. God calls us to fight injustice (Micah 6:8; Amos 5:24). The idea that the poor only have themselves to blame and that wealth is a sign of the blessing of God is subsequently rejected.[15] The document ends with a series of calls and admonitions for Churches to work for justice.[16]

Ton Veerkamp writes about the 10^th commandment, “Do not covet...” (Exodus 20:17). He argues that here, and in Isaiah 5:8, God is condemning the process of accumulation of economic resources. Were a few families to accumulate too much of the basic resources the result would be the majority of society becoming slaves to the king and social elite. This is what happened in the other societies in the ancient East. Israel was tempted to become like the other nations around them, but God clearly had a plan for them to be set apart. Central to this plan was the prohibition of accumulation and slavery.[17]

Matthew’s Gospel, according to Lidija Novakovic, contributes to the discussion of the issue of economic globalization in a unique way. In Matthew 5:38-42, Jesus brings up the lex talionis and adds to it with the admonition to turn the other cheek, along with others. Many scholars see this as supporting the idea of passivism; that the person being oppressed should simply endure the injustice. Novakovic argues that the victims in these illustrations are actively responding “by offering to endure more wrongs.” In that culture the appropriate response would be doing nothing and being submissive. Turning the other cheek, however, shows that the victim still has his dignity and it forces the other to react, thus taking away the perpetrators power in the situation. Therefore, this passage challenges unequal distribution of power and encourages victims to actively protest injustice that it may be exposed.[18]

Novakovic also goes into the story of Jesus with the Samaritan woman (Matt. 15:21–28), the parable of the wedding feast (22:1–14), and the parable of the judgment of the nations (25:31–46). All of the passages criticize power being unequally distributed and promote a just community. Matthew 15:21-28 gives the hope of equality in God’s grace for those who are normally excluded. Matthew 22:1-14 invites everyone into the kingdom and doesn’t base it on religious or social status. Matthew 25:31-46 addresses those who are economically privileged and calls them to serve the least of these, being aware of their needs, as though they were doing it to Jesus Himself.[19] Novakovic concludes by saying, “Matthew’s dynamic message of encouragement and accountability offers valuable resources to Christian communities that might be discouraged by the complexities of economic globalization.”[20] This leads us to the final question this essay will address: What then shall we do?

Toward a Christian response to Economic Globalization:

This issue is large and complex. It would be easy for the Church to give in to despair, but this must not happen. Church leadership and lay people in all different walks of life have unique contributions to make in this battle. Ultimately, it is our duty to do what we can, even if it seems impossible, and if God wants us to succeed then what can stop us?

The first step to responding is being aware of what it means to be part of the communion of saints. To be in communion with others near and far will enable us to see things from a broader perspective. When I am aware that my brothers and sisters are suffering due to injustice stemming from economic globalization I will be moved to act on their behalf. The focus is on doing good to those in the communion around the world and not doing harm.[21] Remembering the brief explanation of the trinity above, communion is God’s starting point for creation and action in the world. By being in relationship with one another we imitate that aspect of God and productivity is the unavoidable result. As the Accra confession states, we must “reject any attempt in the life of the church to separate justice and unity.”[22]

From the Church in communion will flow the duties of diokonia and kerygma. The churches redemptive action and prophetic speech are essential to addressing the system of economic globalization.[23] Good development must take place in the many specific regions which are most affected. The education and resources of the church in affluent nations needs to be used wisely. The Lutheran World Council calls this being responsible.[24] Also, the church must critique society loudly, making sure that all hear and are held accountable, especially those who hold the reigns of the economic system. A more practical term for this is advocacy. The LWF has encouraged the IMF and World Band to be more transparent with their practices, promoted just trade policies among countries, and boycotted organizations which are known to be destructive.[25] This proclamation needs to be directed as much to the church itself as to those outside. There are far too many who are completely unaware of what is going on in our world today, and they must be informed. Those who are already aware can continue to become educated, exploring the topic from various points of view, and taking a multi-disciplinary approach.

The parts of the Church that are experiencing the oppression of economic injustice should expose their perpetrators for what is being done. This idea is going back to Novakovic’s interpretation of the book of Matthew. The poor do not have to accept their circumstances passively; rather, they must be active and “turn the other cheek,” maintaining their dignity and pushing their oppressors to either stop, or amplify their attack and be exposed for what they really are. The question of what this means for each different situation is one that must be asked by those close by with much prayer and consideration of Biblical truth.

This leads me to my last and most important point of action, prayer. The church needs to be on her knees constantly in light of the severity of this situation. We must repent of allowing our society to influence our understanding of economics so inappropriately and for letting the problem get this far. Then we must turn the situation up to the one who is sovereign and just; the God who lifts the poor up from the dust and brings princes low; who hates injustice and loves mercy. These prayers not only cause God to act, they also remind us that God is the higher power and forces us to lay down the idols we had deemed more powerful. Prayer is a discipline which deepens our convictions, connects us with the source of life, and unites us as a body, all of which will empower and equip us to act.

The world we live in is broken. The neoliberal economic globalization which has been occurring is one of the main contributing factors for the major problems around the planet. It operates on a basis of individualism and greed and uses faulty logic and false pretense to justify itself. Scripture and theology tell us that God is against this system on a variety of levels. As Christians we must respond. God has given us tools to use and we must not be discouraged for God has overcome the world. Lord, have mercy.

[1] Kevin Bales, Disposable people, (Los Angeles: University of California Press, 2000) 8.

[2] World Food Programme, “Hunger Stats,” wfp.org, 2011

http://www.wfp.org/hunger/stats (accessed Dec. 16, 2011).

[3] Avert, “Global HIV and Aids estimates, End of 2009”

http://www.avert.org/worldstats.htm (accessed Dec. 16, 2011).

[4] Brent P. Waters, "Two, or perhaps two and a half cheers for globalization." Anglican Theological Review 92, no. 4 (2010): 707. ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed December 15, 2011).

[5] Ton, Veerkamp, "NEOLIBERALISM AND RECLAIMING A THEOLOGY OF ECONOMY." International Review Of Mission 97, no. 386/387 (July 2008): 199. MasterFILE Premier, EBSCOhost (accessed December 17, 2011).

[6] World Alliance of Reformed Churches, “Covenanting for Justice in the Economy and the Earth,” pg. 12

http://warc.jalb.de/warcajsp/news_file/The_Accra_Confession_English.pdf (accessed Dec. 15, 2011).

[7] Veerkamp, 198-201

[8] Moiseraele Prince Dibeela, "CONVERSION, EVANGELISM AND MARKET."International Review Of Mission 97, no. 386/387 (July 2008): 189-190, MasterFILE Premier, EBSCOhost (accessed December 17, 2011).

[9] Moiseraele, 189-191

[10] Moiseraele, 190

[11] Karen L. Bloomquist, “Engaging Economic Globalization as Communion,” (Geneva: Lutheran World Federation, 2001). http://www.lutheranworld.org/What_We_Do/DTS/DTS-Documents/EN/Globalization-EN.pdf (accessed Dec. 16, 2011).

[12] Paul S. Chung, "Engaging God's Mission and Diakonia in Life of Public Spheres: Justification and Economic Justice." Dialog: A Journal Of Theology 49, no. 2 (Summer2010): 143. Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost (accessed December 17, 2011).

[13] Kenneth R. Ross, "Christian Mission and the End of Poverty: Time for Eschatology," Mission Studies: Journal Of The International Association For Mission Studies 24, no. 1 (April 2007): 85-86. Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost (accessed December 17, 2011).

[14] World, 1-2

[15] Ibid, 3

[16] Ibid, 4

[17] Veerkamp, 205-206

[18] Lidija Novakovic, "'YET EVEN THE DOGS EAT THE CRUMBS THAT FALL FROM THEIR MASTERS' TABLE': MATTHEW'S GOSPEL AND ECONOMIC GLOBALISATION." Hervormde Teologiese Studies 65, no. 1 (December 2009): 2-3. Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost (accessed December 17, 2011).

[19] Novakovic, 5

[20] Ibid, 7

[21] The Lutheran World Federation, “A CALL TO PARTICIPATE IN TRANSFORMING ECONOMIC GLOBALIZATION.” (Winnipeg, LWF Tenth Assembly, 2003) 7, http://www.lutheranworld.org/What_We_Do/DTS/DTS-Documents/EN/Call-Globalization_EN.pdf (Accessed Dec. 14, 2011).

[22] World, 4

[23] Veerkamp, 208

[24] Lutheran, 7

[25] Bloomquest, 20-22

Individualism and Worship

2011-12-10T00:08:00.000-08:00

Here's an Essay I wrote for my Theology of Worship class:

There has always been a tension between Christianity and Culture. What does it mean to be of another world, but live in this one? Jesus was 100% a first century Jew, but He also said and did a lot of things which were very counter-cultural. Today, the corporate worship gathering of the Church is an area where this challenge of Christianity and culture shows up most vividly. The services may only be once a week, but they reflect what is going on within the heart of the Church. In addition to being shaped by what people already believe, corporate worship plays a significant role in shaping the beliefs of the congregants. The term individualism has been used to describe a societal philosophy which is prevalent in North America. This individualistic mindset is showing up in the North American Church and her corporate worship gatherings and it needs to be removed by intentional re-shaping of church liturgy.

“The national characteristic of American culture is one of individualism.”[1] This characteristic can be traced back to the very origins of the American project. Many of the early settlers were leaving their homelands to carve out their own future in the new world. Robert Bellah writes about a few different exemplary figures from the early days in America. Thomas Jefferson, one of the key members in producing the Declaration of Independence, was a large advocate of freedom from having the state interfere unnecessarily with people’s lives.[2] Both the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights reveal an emphasis on the importance of individual liberty. Moving ahead in history, Bellah tells of Alexis de Tocqueville, a Frenchman and an early interpreter of American culture. Tocqueville, writing in the mid-19^th century, said that the idea of “individualism” was new, but it had many similarities to “egoism” which was more appropriate to describe the founding fathers. He described individualism as allowing citizens to withdraw and shape their communities to their tastes, leaving the greater community to take care of itself.[3]

Laura Mirakian writes about two changes in America that have helped elevated the value of ‘Self.’ The first is that church and family have been deconstructed, or stripped of their authority. People don’t have the same kind of communities to direct them as they used to. The authority has been transferred to the Self. Now I get to chose what is good and what is worth my time. Not only that, but there is “no commitment or consistency necessary.” The second change is the rise of modern therapeutic culture. A huge movement in modern therapy suggests that self-actualization is the key to healing. The whole concept of Self-Help books seem like a prime example of this. The movement of ‘Positive Thinking’ is another. These movements have made a way for a radical level of self-worship where I am both lord and savior of myself. This elevation of Self essentially divides people from any tradition, religion, custom, history, culture, or anything which would give external definition.[4] It has also contributed significantly to the post-modern conclusion that truth is subjective.

Individualism can be seen as having two different streams. There is what we might call utilitarian individualism where the self will use whatever means necessary to seek whatever goal, doing so independently of external influences. More prevalent, however, is expressive individualism, which has more to do with each person’s individuality being brought out by the expression of their unique essence. The expressive individual must find their own way of meeting their needs and finding significance and definition. The result is that people form groups or enclaves around certain interests or commonalities. This type of congregation is sharply distinct from the concept of community which includes and unifies people of whatever lifestyle in light of something greater than those individuals and their personal wants.[5]

Individualism has significant implications for all arenas of society, and for the purposes of this essay I will look at how it affects the religious realm focusing specifically on the evangelical Christian Church. A poll in 1978 showed that 80 percent of Americans felt that individuals should decide for themselves, without church communities deciding for them, what sort of religious beliefs they will hold to. Along with that, many view their personal relationships with God as something that transcends their being involved in a religious community. There are those who still value being part of a congregation, but the reasoning has more to do with their individual choice to commit because of the good moral things the church does, or the sense of community they get.[6] While that view may be more common in more theologically liberal churches, individualism has taken a different form in some conservative churches. Bellah describes one such example of a church which holds firmly to many doctrinal statements and whose congregants get a lot of their definition from the community. In spite of this, however, many of the sermons given are significantly influenced by humanistic psychology and present God as a cure to insecurity and a source of self-worth. The application of the Biblical morals and values they hold to lacks breadth and mostly only applies to personal relationships. “Outside this sphere of personal morality, the evangelical church has little to say about wider social commitments.”[7]

One characteristic of many evangelical groups which runs very deep in American history is the concept of a personal experience of salvation. There were, and probably still are, churches which require testimonies of this sort of experience for an individual to become a member of the church. Using similar logic, many people see their day-to-day spiritual lives as being primarily personal. They have their own favorite place to pray and find those times alone with God to be the meat of their relationship with Him.[8] Many influential figures in American history have expressed an attitude of personal religion. “Thomas Jefferson said, ‘I am a sect myself,’ and Thomas Paine, ‘My mind is my church.’”[9] It is common for people with an individualistic view of religion to be critical of organized religious groups. They say that said groups are hypocritical, not living out what they say they believe.[10] The emphasis on a personal relationship with God over and above being part of any organized religion is one of the common threads of evangelicalism. A youth pastor of mine used to say that he hated religion, as a way of emphasizing this perspective which he saw as a crucial distinction from Catholics and other “traditional” Christians. He felt that they were bound by rules and formalities which didn’t leave any room for Jesus or genuine faith.

Individualism and its partner in crime “consumerism” have had a distinct impact on the structure of many evangelical corporate gatherings. The most popular service structures are comprised of two main experiences. The first is a drawn out series of worship songs. These are usually performed by a band and are essentially worship concerts which the congregants participate in by following the words projected on the screen up front. Stage lights, professional sound and musical arrangements, and performer stage presences all contribute to the concert experience. The second portion of the service is a sermon. The preacher uses varying amounts of Scripture and makes sure that the message is clear, interesting, and practical. The service is essentially formatted to be as appealing to as many people as possible. This base motivation is what makes this structure individualistic. The aspects of being entertaining yet meaningful and fulfilling are thought to be essential to ensuring that people will continue to attend.[11]

In “The Divine Commodity,” Skye Jethani writes about a Church in California which has developed a video service experience. The idea, inspired by the shopping mall, is that people can show up on Sunday and chose what kind of venue they’d like to participate in. Those who enjoy traditional hymns and those who prefer contemporary rock music no longer have to tolerate the other. There are currently eighteen different services offered, distinguished either by time, location, or style. The pastor is admittedly appealing to a consumer mindset as a means of drawing in more people. He believes in honoring people’s differences and not forcing them to conform to one standard of corporate worship.[12] This creates homogenous groups, which I imagine are what Bellah would call “lifestyle enclaves” and not true communities.

As I’ve reflected on my own experience being raised in a charismatic evangelical church, I have also noticed aspects of individualism in the way the corporate worship was conducted. Most services I’ve been to have had seating arrangements of straight rows all facing the front. This physical structure implies that the congregants attention should be directed to the front and not to those around them. It is very reminiscent of most lecture halls and classrooms I’ve been in. I also remember that while singing songs at church camp we were often encouraged to focus on Jesus and forget about the many other people around us. The intent was to help us feel free to express our worship however we needed without being worried about how others would perceive us. I reminded myself of this principle for years whenever I had trouble focusing on God or felt afraid to raise my hands or dance about.

There is a famous worship song which I’ve heard used in many different church congregations, called “Only You” by the David Crowder Band. The lyrics are:

“Take my heart, I Lay it down at the feet of you whose crowned // Take my life, I’m letting go. I lift it up to You who’s throned. /// And I will worship You, Lord. Only You, Lord // And I will bow down before You. Only You Lord /// Take my fret, take my fear. All I have, I’m leaving here // Be all my hopes, be all my dreams. You're my delights, be my everything /// And It’s just you and me here now. Only you and me here now. /// You should see the view. When it’s only You.”[13]

At first glance the song is very focused on God. The general premise is monotheistic worship. But at closer examination we see that the subject of a significant portion of the lyrics is the person singing: “I lift,” “I will worship,” “I will bow.” The more significant thing, however, is a line towards the end, “It’s just you and me here now…” Here the song is not just omitting any sort of acknowledgment of there being a congregation, it is actually emphasizing and praising the idea of singing to God apart from the community. I’m not making any qualitative judgments here; rather my intent is simply to point out the prevalence of individualistic emphases.

There is another, more subtle way in which individualism shows up in our popular worship songs. Robin Parry, in his book Worshiping Trinity, examines 362 worship songs put out by Vineyard, a movement and organization which seeks to promote intimate worship with God. Parry looked at what kind of title the songs used for God and found that 51.1 percent of them used an ambiguous “You Lord” kind of title, not mentioning any member of the trinity. 38.7 percent of the songs addressed one member of the trinity, the vast majority of which were focused specifically on Jesus. This analysis shows that the Trinitarian nature of God is largely unrecognized in these popular worship songs. The reason this demonstrates how individualism has affected our worship is because the doctrine of the Trinity is all about communalism. It not only tells us that God is plural, but it implies that we, as image-bearers, reflect core aspects of God as we interact with and relate to other people. Trinitarian worship completely strips the glory from the concept of the independent individual, and our worship songs show that we aren’t exactly comfortable with that.[14]

As we continue to look at contemporary worship music and practices we see that the therapeutic culture that Mirikiam mentions shows up there as well. American culture doesn’t value close family relationships the same way many other cultures do. As a result many people have significant emotional needs that aren’t being met. It’s been suggested that churches and other such groups are often used as imitation families by people who are seeking to fill those emotional needs. It is therefore easy to see that much of the Church’s worship is also shaped around meeting those same types of needs. There is such a strong focus on intimacy with God in contemporary worship songs. Take Hillsong’s “I want to know you”:

“In the secret, in the quiet place // In the stillness you are there // In the secret, in the quiet hour // I wait only for you // Cause, I want to know you more // I want to know you // I want to hear your voice // I want to know you more // I want to touch you // I want to see your face // I want to know you more.”[15]

This song tells us a lot about the emotional needs of those singing it, but little to nothing about God. Intimacy with God isn’t a bad thing, but there has to be other ways of meeting that need than just extended worship experiences with self-absorbed songs focusing on our emotional state.

So we’ve seen that individualism is a core aspect of the culture we live in and it has found its way into our Christian lives and corporate worship. The question we must now address is: what’s wrong with that? Has the evangelical church conformed to the patterns of the world? Or could it be that she is simply practicing good contextualization by becoming truly incarnate in American culture? To begin to answer these questions we will look to Scripture and to the scholars.

In 1 Corinthians 9:20 Paul writes, “To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews.” He goes on to elaborate on the idea that Christians must enter into solidarity with those they are trying to reach with the gospel. This concept is also seen in Jesus’ coming to earth, the primary inspiration for our role as missionaries, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…” (John 1:14). This idea has been elaborated on by scholars and given the title contextualization.[16] Good contextualization takes place when the universal truth of the Gospel is planted in a specific context and allowed to grow as a natural yet distinct part of that context. Individualistic worship is very much relevant to the context of American society, but is it compatible with the Gospel?

Jesus told a crowd of people, "if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Mark 8:33-35). He told the rich man to sell his possessions and give his money to the poor (Luke 18:22). He even told the scribes and Pharisees that the greatest commandment is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength… love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:30-31). Later, Paul tells the Corinthians that they were “bought at a price” and are not their own (1 Cor. 6:19-20). He elaborates extensively on the idea that Christians are the body of Christ. “…we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” (Romans 12:5). Lastly, the letters Paul wrote were addressed to communities, not to individuals.[17] The examples I have listed here are barely skimming the surface of all the Bible says that comes in contrast to individualism.

As mentioned before, the doctrine of the Trinity makes it difficult to maintain an individualistic worldview. In John 17:21, Jesus prays that, just as He is in the Father and the Father is in Him, we (Christians) may be one and that we may be in them (the Father and Son). This communion we are to have with each other and with the Trinity goes beyond just ourselves: “… so that the world may believe that you (the Father) have sent me.” And why did the Father send the Son? Because He so loved the world (John 3:16). The way we spread the Gospel in this world is by being intimately connected with God and with each other in love. It is therefore absurd to think that allowing individualism into our churches could simply be a good method of contextualization which will help us reach the lost. That leaves no room for the way we communicate the Gospel most effectively.

We must now look at the true form and function of corporate worship. One of the essential aspects is that God meets us when we gather together. Jesus said, “where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” (Mathew 18:20). David Peterson suggests that God uses us to express Himself to each other through edification. As we proclaim the word to each other, Christ makes His presence known and indwells peoples’ hearts. As we sing songs of praise and gratitude we are allowing the word of Christ to dwell in us richly (Colossians 3:16). Peters says, “any gospel-based ministry of encouragement or admonition will be a means by which Christ engages with his people.”[18]

The local congregation is also a temple for the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16). This is true when the God’s people are off doing their own things, but it is especially significant when they gather together. According to Peterson, Paul argues in 1 Corinthians that quarrelling and division in the congregation is equivalent to destroying the temple of God. Being the temple of God, however, is more than just getting along with each other. We are to be set apart by living distinct lives from those around us. “we need to remember that we belong to the community called to reflect God’s character and purposes in the world and to the world.”[19] The temple isn’t just for God’s people, but ultimately it is for God to bless the whole world.

We’ve seen how individualism can be seen in the Church, how Scripture refutes that philosophy, and what the purpose of the corporate worship gathering is. Now the question is, how do we get the Church from where it is not, to where it should be? This task is daunting because we will be battling deeply engrained worldviews and values, but it must be done. A key part of the solution lies in the design of our corporate worship gatherings. As mentioned before, these gatherings are shaped by existing beliefs and it may seem like trying to change them is equivalent to stapling leaves to a piece of wood in the hopes that it will become a tree again. The other side of the coin is, however, that “how we worship shapes what we believe.”[20] Also, the weekly gathering of the Church gives shape to the way we live our lives throughout the rest of the week.[21]

This essay will not examine the specifics of how this re-shaping might look, but I do have a few thoughts about where we might start. As Christians, we are part of a long and vast tradition and can learn much from examining the ways the Church has done its corporate worship in the past, as well as the practices of other traditions today (such as the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches). A more in depth Biblical theology of corporate worship is another important starting point. Lastly, God has given us the gift of reason and I believe that experimentation and the messy process of trial and error can be extremely fruitful.

The pervasive individualistic mindset in North America has had a significant effect on the Church and her corporate worship gatherings. We see it in the way people decide to be part of a Church or not, in our soteriology, and in the songs we sing. The Bible presents us with a ideas that force us to re-think our cultural assumptions like individualism. It also has much to say about the significance of gathering together. There is an obvious disparity between the way the evangelical Church is and what it should be, but through intentional re-shaping of church worship practices the effects can be undone.

[1] Laura Mirakian, “A Biblical Response to Individualism in America” (Masters Degree Thesis, 1991), abstract

[2] Robert N. Bellah, Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life (New York: Harper & Row, 1985) 31

[3] Bellah, 36-37

[4] Mirakian, abstract

[5] Mirkiam, 4; Bellah, 334

[6] Bellah, 228

[7] Ibid, 231

[8] Angela Ashwin, “Spirituality and Corporate Worhsip: Separate Worlds or Vitally Connected?” Worship 75, no. 2: 107 (2001),

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed December 9, 2011).

[9] Bellah, 233

[10] Ibid, 234

[11] Wayne H. Johnson, "Practicing theology on a Sunday morning: corporate worship as spiritual formation." Trinity Journal 31, no. 1: 34 (2010),

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost(accessed December 9, 2011).,

[12] Skye Jethani, The Divine Commodity: Discovering A Faith Beyond Consumer Christianity (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2009), 126-127

[13] http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Only-You-lyrics-David-Crowder-Band/027A4CBBB45404A848256E9C0024397B

[14] Michelle K. Baker-Wright, "Intimacy and Orthodoxy: evaluating existing paradigms of contemporary worship music." Missiology 35, no. 2: 172 (2007),

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed December 9, 2011).

[15] http://www.lyricstime.com/hillsongs-i-want-to-know-you-more-lyrics.html

[16] David J. Hesselgrave, Communicating Christ Cross-Culturally: An Introduction to Missionary Communication (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 1991), 131

[17] Tom Holland, "Individualism and the people of God," Evangel 23, no. 3: 86-91 (2005), Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost (accessed December 9, 2011).

[18] David Peterson, Engaging with God: A Biblical Theology of Worship (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1992), 198.

[19] Peterson, 202-203

[20] Kendall R. Hafermehl, “Enhancing a Theocentric Focus At The Alliance Church, Okotoks, Alberta,” (Kendall R. Hafermehl, 2009), 60.

[21] Bellah, 227

Discover What?

2011-12-09T23:51:00.000-08:00

I was asked to write an article about the program I'm involved in here at school... I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it:

This is my second year serving and leading in Discover as an intern. There are many logistical aspects to my job like designing experiences, walking students through them, and facilitating critical reflection afterwards. But most important is my role as a member of this community. In Discover we are learning how to live life together on a day-to-day basis. We hurt each other and learn to forgive and seek reconciliation. We tell our stories and listen to the ways we’ve been hurt by this world and how God is redeeming it. We are uncomfortably aware of the fact that we are not independent individuals like our culture would have us believe, but that we are inter-dependent and relational by nature.

Discover spends a quarter of the year in Guatemala. We start with an intense conversation-based, immersion Spanish course. After that we live with Guatemalan Bible-college students and spend time serving alongside local churches. We get to learn about how they do ministry and experience leading some of it ourselves. We delve into a culture that is drastically different from our own and embrace having our eyes opened while being more confused than ever; being filled with anxiety as well as intrigue; feeling lonely and far from home, yet deeply connected and loved by our brothers and sisters in Christ.

This year has already been very challenging for our program. Relationships are hard. School is draining. Planning and leading events is frustrating. And yet we persevere with hope in the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ who is greater than the one who is in the world. Please pray that God will work powerfully in our lives this next semester and may the Father above bless you with peace through the Son, Jesus Christ, by the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.

-Samuel Schnake

Play, Joy, Rest, and Work

2011-11-27T12:40:00.000-08:00

I feel like writing today.

Today I sit and listen to the symphony of the intense east-wind accompanied by my friend across the hall playing his guitar and singing. I swear the top of the tree nearest my window went completely horizontal a few moments ago. I should go fly that kite my mom sent me in a care package some time ago. I was reminded recently of the importance of play. It makes me miss hanging out with little children. It blows my mind that they can find the same stupid joke just as funny the hundredth time as they did the first. And yet, every drawing I receive from my Tanzanian sponsor child, no matter how similar they all look, brings the same amount of joy to my heart.

Joy is an interesting thing and I wonder about it at times. Times when it seems to be lacking as well as in times of abundance. I certainly found joy in something Mr. Lewis said in the Morning Prayer service at my Anglican Church today:

"Grace and Peace are a fact, a wish, and a hope."

I don't have much commentary to add, but I certainly intend to contemplate those words throughout the rest of my day of rest. Not many people I know take the principles of Sabbath very seriously. It is perplexing to me that they function as well as they do. Just as it is disturbing to me that I function as poorly as I do.

I keep thinking that I've learned a lot, but I keep forgetting a lot of what I've learned. But rest is something which I don't often neglect. You could say, even, that it comes naturally to me - at least at this point in time. Not that I think time is made up of points. I don't know what time is made of, but I have a strong feeling that it is not made up of points. Perhaps 'seasons' is a better word.

At this current season of time in my life, things are not often very bright. But one thing I have noticed is that I can choose to put on my glasses and I can choose not to. What I mean is that the world is vivid, whether I see it that way or not. There are times when it feels like a choice not to wear my glasses and other times when maybe I just lose them or am too busy to put them on. I think I look better in glasses anyways.

After the sun rises, down again it goes.

Sometimes it rains and sometimes it snows.

Books that are read need first to be written,

and with so many pages there's no sense in quittin'.

Painters are the ones to paint paintings.

Mathematicians typically work with numbers.

I understand that you may feel like you're fainting,

but carry on my friend, now is not the time for slumber.

Book Report on Mere Discipleship

2011-11-24T23:51:00.000-08:00

Mere Discipleship, by Lee C. Camp, is an inspiring and refreshing call to the radical way of Christ. It gave me a new zeal for taking on the challenges that God has put before me both in my personal life and in my role as an intern in the Discover program. Camp wants his readers to take Jesus seriously in all areas of life. He lays out his vision of discipleship, and then explains what disciples believe followed by what it is they do. Here I will mention a few of his points and how they apply to my life and my experience as an intern.

One of the key parts of the book that stuck out to me was the chapter called “Prayer.” The subtitle is, “Why Disciples Trust God rather than Their Own Calculations.” The idea is that prayer is the action that comes from living by faith and is counter-cultural. When I pray I am acknowledging God as the higher power and therefore acknowledging my limitedness. That takes my focus away from being product-driven. As a disciple I can’t have my focus on being “effective” or even “efficient.” Rather, I am called to be obedient. This applies very much to my personal life as well as my experience as an intern. When I have to make decisions, whether big or small, I can’t make them solely, or even primarily, based on what I think the outcomes of that decision will be. I need to make sure I am being obedient to Christ in my decision. This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t think critically about what I’m doing and the effect it will have. Camp affirms that this is important, but those considerations can never supersede being faithful to the way of Christ. The logic of “the ends justify the means” doesn’t work with disciples.

In my personal life this concept has come up in regards to the way I interact with members of the opposite sex. You see, I’m quite lonely, and I’d really like to have a girlfriend to hang out with and maybe kiss every once in awhile. Now, there are a lot of girls around, so in theory if I was really focused on the end goal of having a girlfriend I could pursue fervently and cast my net wide (to use a rather unfortunate analogy) and it seems quite reasonable to think that I would find a willing individual (perhaps even an enthusiastic one). I’m pretty sure, however, that this would be to have my focus in the wrong place. My loneliness comes from a deep need for intimacy that God has created me with. God knows that I need relationship and it seems likely that God wants for me to find a lady someday, but that doesn’t mean that I can take matters into my own hands. This is especially true since many of the means I consider employing may not be consistent with general principles of what healthy relationship is. To pursue multiple girls at once would develop in myself a mindset of unfaithfulness which could have detrimental consequences in the future when I get married. To pressure or manipulate a girl to date me would be very obviously unhealthy.

Faith and prayer are also a huge part of my experience in the internship. As a leader it is one of my deepest desires to see my students grow and learn throughout this year. I often see specific areas in which a student needs to grow. When that growth seems to be coming slowly I am tempted to grasp at whatever means possible to instruct the student in their ways. Maybe I need to have just the right conversation, or maybe I need to facilitate the right experience. Again, thinking through these different ideas critically is not bad. But when I become anxious and feel that it is my responsibility to achieve a certain outcome in an individual, I am essentially reducing the person and their situation into objects and the solution into a “simple mechanistic rule of physics…” (page 166) Camp clearly explains that this cannot be the way that Disciples view the world.

Another idea that Camp writes about which struck a chord with me is that we cannot separate our Christian lives from other aspects of life. He mentions Luther and his view of the two realms, civil and religious, saying that this view has been unhelpful for the Church. Camp believes that the Gospel and the Kingdom of Heaven are not abstract spiritualized concepts; rather, they include a real-life tangible presence. With that comes the idea that “Christians don’t make good Americans.” Being part of the reign of Christ is always the primary source of our identity, and Christianity shouldn’t function neatly within a category that our governments have placed it in. The idea of freedom of religion assumes that our religion functions on a separate level from the rest of the world, especially the civil realm.

This applies to me personally in a very significant way. When the topic of politics has come up in the past I have often brushed it off saying that it wasn’t something I was concerned with. I understood it to be part of the world and my focus was on the things of God. I’ve come to realize, and this book has helped clarify, that God wants me to be engaged in politics and things of civil significance. I can’t simply say that all systems of government are flawed to justify focusing solely on my own actions within that system. I need to study political theory and other such things and engage in this question of what changes need to be made in order to move in the direction of the world God intended. This truth is very profound and I feel it is also my responsibility to see that Christians around me are coming to the same conclusion.

That brings me to how this idea applies to the internship. I truly believe that the main thing I have to offer my students is my example of what living as a Disciple looks like. I can’t expect them to learn about listening if I spend all my time telling them to listen and don’t actually do it myself. However, I’ve recently been reminded that there is a place for me to express truths that God has revealed to me in a very direct way. Just as Camp sees that Christians can’t simply fit passively into the mold of model citizenship, so must I be a troublesome voice of challenge to my students and the things in their lives that are contrary to the Gospel. And the topic of being politically active is certainly one of the subjects I need to be throwing in their faces at times.

In Chapter 10, entitled Communion, Camp talks about Jesus’ radical economic views. The focus is on the idea of sharing. Jesus doesn’t just want to make sure we are focusing on Him and not making an idol out of money, He also wants us to use the wealth we have to do good. Jesus tells people to sell their possessions and give to the poor, He says blessed are the poor, and He himself lived a life of voluntary poverty. Overall, Jesus had a lot to say about money. I’ve held the view for quite some time now that I need to be sharing my wealth, but reading this brought new perspective and reminded me to be proactive in this area. I give a fairly significant percentage of the money I have, but one thing that I’ve been realizing lately is that I could utilize opportunities to make more money so that I would have more money to give. I could have made two or three times as much money as I did this last summer, but I didn’t because I didn’t feel that I needed it. I didn’t consider that I should try to make more so that I could give more.

This applies to the internship in both a very concrete way as well as a more abstract way. If I were to have some extra cash left over from the summer I could take my students out to coffee, or buy them a meal, or gifts, or do all sorts of other things which would bolster my efforts as a leader. The more abstract connection has to do with being hospitable. I can share my wealth with my students by being more present and giving of my time. I find myself often feeling entitled to having time alone or other forms of “me-time.” While there is obviously a need for this for me to maintain a healthy balanced life, there are certainly times where I take it too far and forget about the simplicity of being invested in relationship with people. When I start to forget that my students are my neighbors and simply think of them as my assignment, there is a problem. The radical “Table-Grace” ethic that Christ has called me to requires me to be a lot more generous than I have been with my time and attention.

Mere Discipleship was a very good book and I highly recommend it. It taught me a lot about life in general as well as about how to be a better intern. I have been encouraged to be steadfast in prayer as it reflects a life of faith which goes against the logic of the world by trusting God to bring about good as long as I obey Him. I’ve been challenged in my view of the kingdom of God and hope to be an agent of change in the lives of individuals as well as in the larger political system I am under. I’ve been reminded that God has blessed me with abundance in material and other ways so that I might be generous. I praise God for these truths and hope and pray that I will not soon forget them as I struggle to finish this term with the attitude of Christ Jesus and a heart that is willing to serve.

My Christology of Worship

2011-11-24T23:48:00.000-08:00

The way we live reveals our true beliefs, and what we truly believe shapes how we live. It’s important to understand the theology behind the way we worship so that we can worship rightly. A central component of worship is Jesus Christ. He is the means by which we worship, and He is our teacher for understanding how it is we are to worship. In this essay I will show how Christ mediates our worship, revealing God to us and leading us in responding to God, and how His life was an act of worship which we are to emulate.

A central aspect of worship in Jewish tradition was the yearly Day of Atonement. There was always one man, the high priest, who led Israel in worship and intercession on that day. The high priest was the representative of the people. He sacrifices an animal and confesses the sins of Israel then enters the Holy of Holies with the blood of the animal to intercede for Israel. Then he comes back out and pronounces a blessing on the people.

With this history in mind we can turn to Christ and see great significance in how He mediates for us. Jesus is our representative, but instead of sacrificing an animal He offers Himself to pay for our sins. Then, after He has risen from the dead, He tells Mary that He will ascend to the Father. Later that day He appears to the Disciples and pronounces a blessing on them. The analogy of Israel’s high priest helps us see how Jesus mediates by representing us to the Father and then representing the Father to us. It is, therefore, only through Jesus that we are able to truly worship the Father.[1] His mediation isn’t limited to the historical event of His death and resurrection, rather in our worship we are continually being brought by Jesus through the Spirit into communion with the Father. Our sins are atoned for once and for all, but each time we stray we get to repent and allow Christ to bring us back into right relationship with God.[2]

Ron Man speaks about this same idea, by looking at Hebrews 2:12, “I will proclaim Your name to my brethren, in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.” Man sees in this verse a synthetic parallel of Jesus moving both from God to man in proclamation of the Father, and then from man to God in praise of the Father.[3] There are many other New Testament passages which further strengthen and develop this idea. The idea of proclamation seems to be one of the main aspects of Jesus’ mission here on earth. He said in John 12:50, “What I say, therefore, I say as the Father has told me.” And again in John 15:15, “…all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”[4] In regards to praise, we know from Mathew 6:9-13 that Jesus begins and ends the prayer he instructs us to use with praise to the Father, “…hallowed be your name” (vs. 9), “For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory…” (vs. 13). Here Jesus is not only praising the Father, but He is inviting us to join Him in His praise.[5]

We can also learn about right worship by looking at the way Christ lived His life. Worship is our response to God’s revelation; God is present and being revealed in all areas of life; therefore, we respond to God in every area of our life. Romans 12:1 says, “… present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27). The first part of this command tells us that loving God is something that we do with every aspect of our being. Also, Paul tells the Corinthians, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” (1 Cor. 11:1). It stands to reason, therefore, that we can look at the way Jesus lived His life on earth as a model for right worship.

Looking at the bigger picture of Jesus’ life the first thing that stands out is His incarnate presence in humanity. He didn’t pass by as a glorified rock-shattering whisper as He did to Elijah in 1 Kings 19. Rather He “became flesh and dwelt among us…” (John 1:14). In doing this, Jesus shows us that the starting point for the command to love our neighbors is first to become a neighbor. We need to be present in the communities we live in and in the lives of those around us. We mustn’t separate ourselves or create our own sub-culture to draw away into. Jesus even prays to the Father for us saying, “I do not ask that you take them out of the world… As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.” (John 17: 15, 18). The idea of being present goes beyond just living on the planet earth, however. It is very easy to withdraw from people mentally and emotionally as well as physically. When Jesus saw His friend Mary and the Jews that were with her mourning the death of her brother Lazarus, He was deeply moved, and He wept (see John 11: 33-35). Jesus wasn’t some transcendent super-spiritual being who walked about performing miracles remaining unaffected by the world around Him. He was emotionally invested in real people and was genuinely impacted by real-life circumstances.

It is exactly because Jesus, who is fully God, became a real human being that we can look to Him as the source of our understanding of right worship. He is the mediator and high priest who ascends to the Father on our behalf and comes down to us on the Father’s behalf. He proclaims the name of the Lord to us and leads us in praising that very name. He lived among us and taught us to remain fully present in this world, not just physically, but in depth of relationships and emotionally. He is the source, the path, and the goal of our worship. To Him be the glory forever and ever, Amen.

[1] James B. Torrance, Worship, Community and the Triune God of Grace (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1996), 47-50.

[2] Ibid, 20-21

[3] Ron Man, Proclamation and Praise Hebrews 2:12 and the Christology of Worship (Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock, 2007), 30.

[4] Ron Man’s chapter gives numerous other examples which won’t be mentioned here for the sake of brevity.

[5] This is a key aspect of Ron Man’s Christology of Worship which he elaborates on much more in the same chapter.

Samuel Schmake

2011-11-20T13:18:00.001-08:00

Who is this guy:

“If God wants the school to continue, he’ll provide a way for that,” said Samuel Schmake, 20, who is completing his third year of a bachelor’s degree in intercultural studies at PBI. “If He doesn’t, that’s His will.”

Here's the full article:

http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/alberta/Alleged+victim+describes+claims+abuse+bible+college+Central+Alberta/5739315/story.html

Here's another article:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/story/2011/11/20/three-hills-bible-college-sexual-abuse-allegations.html

Here's a news clip about the same thing:

Lord, have mercy.

-Samuel Schnake

Web of Thoughts

2011-11-17T16:23:00.000-08:00

It started snowing recently and it will stop snowing soon. I’m sitting in a building on campus called the Atrium, due to the large windows which account for two of the main walls. I like it in here, especially in the winter when it’s difficult to get some quality time with the sun. A man with an amazing beard is looking around as though he’s waiting for someone. He meanders towards the front desk and begins chatting with the lady behind the counter.

I can’t seem to get my head right. Frick! I can’t get my head right. This girl I like says she doesn’t have feelings for me, but sometimes I wonder. We decided, or maybe I decided, that it wouldn’t be good to go to this banquet together, but she sort of threw in the thought that we could still dance. (I had been telling her earlier, before I realized that it might not be the best thing for us to go together, that I would probably ask her to dance while we were at the banquet.) But what the crap am I supposed to do with that? Does she know what she’s doing to me? Or is it completely inappropriate for me to blame her for the fact that I’m crazy? Either way, I don’t know what to do.

My buddy Kevin seems to have found a nice lady to spend his time with. I’m quite envious. What does healthy relationship look like? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself lately. I probably know what it should look like, but am hesitant to admit it because I’m afraid it will require humility and selflessness. I can’t seem to let go. Or is this what letting go is? I don’t want to run away and I don’t want to cling, but this tension is killing me. I talk to people about this shit all the time. Or, at least, I used to. I don’t know that I need to keep talking to people because that might just be subtle way of getting my fix. (plus I don’t want to entangle them in my chaotic web of thoughts.) I think I have an addiction, but I’m not entirely sure what to. When I’m not completely infatuated with a specific lady, I flirt with strangers; when I don’t do either of those things… well, I’m not going to talk about that here. The point is I think it’s a problem. But I don’t believe evil exists by itself. I want to seek out the good that is being perverted in that addiction, but I keep getting lost. There’s so much fucking grey. The sky is grey, the sidewalks are grey, the insides of my eyelids are grey, even this fucking computer screen is grey.

“I hope this is a test, because I’m losing this game.”

The harvest is plentiful; the laborers are few. The salt is losing its saltiness; the light is growing dim. The music fades, the grasshopper drags itself along, and all is vain. But, for some reason, there is hope. We are not cast off forever. He will come again to save the living and the dead. The kingdom is here, praise the LORD, the kingdom is here.

Is that all there is too it? Maybe I don’t need to sit down and work through my thoughts systematically until it all makes sense. What if I start living a bit more whimsically? After all, the Lord has risen… but then again, the day of the LORD will come like a thief in the night. What do I need to be doing in order to be ready? “… Put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

Shit man, this world is troublesome. But it is pretty encouraging to know that you have overcome the world, and that you are with me. Not to mention the fact that I get to go eat dinner soon. I really like food. I just hope I don’t completely lose my appetite as soon as I see her face again.

Until next time,

Samuel Schnake

What Christianity Has To Say About Women

2011-11-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

“‘What,’ men have asked distractedly from the beginning of time, ‘what on earth do women want?’ I do not know that women, as women, want anything in particular, but as human beings they want, my good men, exactly what you want yourselves: interesting occupation, reasonable freedom for their pleasures, and a sufficient emotional outlet.”[1]

Christianity is a religion that’s been around for just over two thousand years. Men and women as distinct sexes of the same species have been around much longer. Looking at humanity scientifically we see that this distinction is necessary for the process of procreation to occur and human life, as we know it, to continue. Looking at humanity sociologically it would appear that the relationships between males and females, and the families that they create, are the basic building blocks for any society. A society’s political, economic, and religious structures are affected by the way women and men relate to each other. And the nature of this relationship, which is such a fundamental aspect of humanity and has such significant implications, is determined by what humans, both men and women, believe about the opposite sex as well as their own. We must seek to know, therefore, what right belief on this subject is. In this paper, however, I will not answer that question; rather my intent is to provide greater depth of knowledge about what Christians have thought. I will also focus the discussion on the topic of gender equality. My conclusion is that throughout its history Christianity has expressed ambivalence about whether or not women are equal to men.

Looking back as early as the New Testament, the beginning of Christianity, we see that people are already asking this question. The gospels tell us that Jesus had both male and female followers (Mark 15:40). But at the same time the male disciples don’t seem to take the women very seriously (Luke: 24:10-11).[2] Moving ahead a few years, Paul, the founding Christian theologian, also seems to be ambivalent about this topic. In Galatians he says, “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female: for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28).[3] Yet Paul also tells the Church in Corinth, “As in all the churches of the saints, women should be silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be subordinate, as the law also says.” (1 Cor. 14:34).[4] If the inspired texts which guide, if not determine, the Christian faith express conflicting views on women, then it should be no surprise to see the same views throughout Christian history.

In the 3^rd century Christians were being Martyred left and right. One of the female martyrs was named Blandina. She was killed similarly to Christ and was a source of much inspiration in the Christian community. Her death was seen as, “an image of human nature at its highest.”[5] Despite many powerful stories such as this one, key figures such as Irenaeus were obtusely opposed to women being granted the same status as men.[6]

A century or two later (late 4^th through early 5^th centuries) the Church fathers, namely Ambrose, Augustine, and Jerome, had much debate about the role of women in the Church. They all held the same basic assumption, however, that women were actually created inferior to men. Their debates focused on what God had in mind for women as the inferior sex.[7] During that time, however, there were significant numbers of women who lived radical and devout lives as ascetics. Marcella became a leader of a group of these women and they “occupied a central place in the life of the Roman Church.”[8] The Church father Jerome, despite many writings which ridiculed women, developed a friendship with Marcella and appears to have been significantly influenced by her. He even taught some of the ascetic women to exegete Scripture on their own.[9]

The views of women throughout the medieval era were crystallized into two models, namely, Mary the Mother of Jesus, and Mary Magdalen. The ideas that these models became associated with went far beyond the women in the Bible that they are named after. Mother Mary was a “Virgin, Queen, Bride, and Advocate.” Mary Magdalen was a “Repentant Prostitute, life-long Hermit Penitent, Apostolic Preacher in southern France, and Model of prayerful meditation.” They show the “multi-faceted clerical reflection on the roles, both religious and social, of medieval women.”[10] I’ll look briefly at these two models, as well as some comments that Christian leaders made about women in that time.

As the Catholic Church grew into a larger organization people felt it become less personal. The Clergy studied at an exclusive level with universities and began to have more control over people’s lives. The sacrament of penance was developed and people began to see God as judgmental and distant. In this setting, ideas of the Virgin Mary grew as people sought to fill the gaps left by this view of a remote God. She was seen as merciful, accessible, and close to the human experience, even being involved in small details of life.[11]

The image of Mary Magdalen used stories of a few different women in the Gospels, and became popular mostly because of monastic rivalries regarding her body. She was also appealing because she was a more realistic model for women in that she was a penitent sinner, unlike the Virgin Mary whose perfection was unattainable. “Her story helped to make the lives of real prostitutes a little more bearable throughout the middle ages.” She was also portrayed quite erotically in art-work.[12] This model, however, presented extreme ambivalence, especially in contrast with the positive views of the Virgin Mary. Medieval clerics wrote a lot about the failings of women. “Albert the Great warned all to look on a woman only as a ‘venomous serpent and horned devil’.” The picture of Mary sitting silently at Jesus’ feet was used to enforce the separation of men and women and the silencing of women in Church. Mary Malone ends her chapter on these women by noting how religious traditions are very creative in the models they propose as a means of male control of women.[13] So, despite many positive ideas associated with women, there was no shortage of negative views.

There continued to be much debate about women, mostly by men, in the 16^th century, during the reformation. Martin Luther wrote a lot on women and seems to be in disagreement with himself. There are plenty of writings in which Luther seems to consider women as inferior to men.[14] For example, “Indeed, stupid women try not to submit to their husbands, but they are not able to govern cities and territories, etc.”[15] At the same time, when speaking about women more theologically, Luther comes across as very egalitarian. He talks about Adam and Eve as being equal in bearing the image of God. He points out that God took delight in creating women and distances himself from Aristotelian thought which ridiculed women.[16] In expanding upon the idea of being one flesh Luther says that married people should share everything in common, home, family, land, education of children, money, etc.[17]

It would seem wrong to write an essay looking over the History of Christian Thought without mentioning John Calvin, a key character in the reformation who came a bit after Luther, at least briefly. Almost all earlier studies on Calvin’s views on women saw him to be ambivalent, or possibly even inconsistent. He taught the equality of women and men, but he also taught the subordination of women to men. Calvin didn’t allow women to preach or baptize, but in the Institutes and other writings he argues that the idea of women being silent in Church is an indifferent aspect of the way Church needs to be run.[18]

If Luther and Calvin here represent the magisterial reformers, then we must also give ear to the radical reformers. The Anabaptists also express ambivalence towards the equality of women. In the earlier years both women and men had authority in their communities. Both men and women martyrs were seen as heroes and people to be emulated. But as these communities grew and developed structures they leaned more on the patriarchal models found in Paul’s writings and in other Scripture. Wives were expected to be submissive and obedient to their husbands, and weren’t put in positions of authority.[19] Scholars have also noted, however, that in some of these groups women were able to negotiate with men in authority, sometimes being quite assertive.[20] Lastly, a quote from Anabaptist J.A. Comenius, “Nor is it possible to give a sufficient reason why the inferior sex… should be entirely excluded from studies of wisdom.”[21] This quote is significant because we see an assumption that women are inferior, but the overall purpose of the statement is to promote a more egalitarian approach to education.

After the initial reformation period, Protestantism continued to reform itself, causing division and allowing for more perspectives on women. In the late seventeenth century was the emergence of pietistic movements which stressed personal devotion and seemed to attract more significant amounts of women. There were even a number of female leaders such as, Jane Leade, Madame Guyon, Johanna Eleonora Petersen, Antoinette Bourignon, and Anna Maria van Schurman. There are a variety of theories as to why women were drawn to this form of Christianity more so than others. Perhaps the more practical approach was more appealing to women’s nature. More radical forms of pietism had non-traditional views on sexuality which may have been appealing to women. Regardless, there is still some tension within pietistic views on women. Gottfried Arnold, a Radical Pietist, supported women prophesying, and wrote of many examples to defend it. This caused another Pietist scholar, Johann Heinrich Feustking, to respond with critical accounts of those same women in order to show that prophesying women can be dangerous.[22]

Another distinct camp of thought and practice was the puritans. Despite their name’s implication of single-mindedness, they were not in total agreement when it came to their thoughts on women. First we’ll look at John Brinsley’s examination of 1 Tim. 2:14 – a verse which alludes to the Genesis account of the fall. Brinsley does a step by step analysis of the verse, and two key points stick out. Firstly, Satan chose to deceive the woman because she was the weaker vessel, and more likely to succumb to temptations. Secondly, Eve became “the author and original of transgression” and proceeded to seduce her husband and bring him into transgression.[23] Jumping ahead a couple hundred years to puritan scholar John Owen, we find a more positive view of women in his analysis of Hebrews 11:11, which references Sarah of the Older Testament. He notes that the writer of Hebrews decided to mention Sarah as in conjunction with Abraham in the context of talking about Abraham’s faith. Owen says that, “as Abraham was the father of the faithful, or the church, so she (Sarah) was the mother of it.”[24]

A new age dawned in the 18^th century, known as the enlightenment, in which human reason and rationality, defined by the scientific process, were elevated above all other sources of truth. Christianity responded to this huge paradigm shift in a variety of ways. Here we will look at three branches of Christianity – Liberal, Conservative, and Neo-Orthodox – and see ambivalence within and between these different streams of thought. Liberal Christians openly embraced enlightenment thought which promoted freedom and individuality because it saw humans as creatures of reason whose autonomy should be protected by the law. This rationale was primarily used for men, but various people, such as Mary Wollstonecraft, extended the logic to include women. She argued that women, as humans, are also creatures of reason and should therefore have the same freedom and autonomy provided by the protection of the law. She was using the same rationality to promote equality that many others were using to promote distinct societal roles for men and women. Her thoughts may not have been widely accepted at the time, but they opened doors for later feminists.[25]

Fundamentalism claimed to reject enlightenment thought and made Scripture its primary authority instead of reason. On the topic of women, fundamentalists reacted to emerging feminists and “reasserted a masculine Christianity.” They believed women needed to be subordinate to men and dependent on them at home and church, and in society. Fundamentalists wrote a lot about human sexuality. They often looked to the story of the fall where Eve’s decision to sin is the main factor, instead of looking at the creation story which gives a more egalitarian picture of Adam and Eve. They used the curse that was placed on Eve as justification for keeping women under man’s dominion.[26] Despite this accurate generalization of fundamentalism there were people who thought differently, such as John Roach Straton. Straton was a famous Baptist fundamentalist preacher in the 1920’s. The thing which makes him stick out is that he supported Uldine Utley, a touring preacher, and helped her become a prominent evangelist. This endorsement of a female preacher went against standard fundamentalist doctrine.[27]

Neo-Orthodoxy responded to the extremes of liberal theology and fundamentalism by taking somewhat of a middle road. The main voice for Neo-Orthodoxy was Karl Barth. Joan Arnold Romero has said that Barth's "theology is basically a theology of domination and oppression primarily along male-female lines.” Clifford Green, however, sees themes of liberation in Barth’s theology of the sexes. This “breakthrough,” is compromised, however, “because of weaknesses in his exegetical and theological methods.”[28]

Lastly, we must return to the Catholic Church, which was also greatly affected by the enlightenment, and hear a story of their modern theological tensions in regards to gender equality. Feminismo Cristiano (Italian for Christian feminism), was developed in the early 1900’s, primarily by the Italian Radini Tedeschi. A form of secular feminism was already present during this time, but this new Christian movement was adamant about their distinctness from it. In the minds of many Christians the term feminism held negative connotation for ruining feminine qualities, marriage, and family. Feminismo Cristiano originally split off from a Christian political movement and was mostly focused on welfare issues; unlike secular feminism which sought a higher level of equality. As it progressed, however, it adopted more extreme demands such as total equality in civil and political rights for women and men. These demands challenged the society’s patriarchal values as well as its unequal distribution of power and wealth. It looked far too much like secular feminism and conservatives felt that it needed to be silenced. The conservative Catholic press began campaigning relentlessly against the movement’s leaders and the periodical that promoted it. Ultimately, they succeeded, and the early Catholic feminist movement ended in 1908.[29]

The history of Christian thought, overall, presents us with very ambivalent views on the equality of women to men. It shows up as early as Jesus’ day, as well as in Paul’s letters just after that. The post-Biblical early Church wrestled with it, as did the Church Fathers and Mothers. The medieval era gives us some pretty intense pictures of women, but no clear conclusion about their equality to men. Luther contradicts himself on the matter, and Calvin can be interpreted in contradicting ways. Anabaptist women were expected to be submissive, yet seemed to have a significant level of influence. Peitists debated with each other, puritans interpreted Scripture differently, Liberals used rationality in contradictory ways. Fundamentalists were actually fairly consistent, but there are at least some examples of ambivalence. Barth is tough to interpret, and modern Catholics had a big wrestling match about the whole thing. With all these conflicting perspectives before us it is awfully tempting to say that Christianity isn’t going to be helpful in the quest for true belief about gender. But my hope is that we can follow in our predecessors’ footsteps and continue to wrestle with such an important question.

[1] Dorothy L. Sayers, Are Women Human? (Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1971), 32.

[2] Mary T. Malone, Women and Christianity Volume 1: The First Thousand years (Ottowa: Novalis, 2000), 55.

[3] Ibid, 75.

[4] Ibid, 76.

[5] Malone, 105.

[6] Ibid, 113.

[7] Ibid, 144-145.

[8] Ibid, 138.

[9] Malone, 135-8.

[10]Mary T. Malone, Women and Christianity Volume II: From 1000 to the Reformation (Ottowa: Novalis, 2001), 254.

[11]Ibid, 256.

[12] Malone (Vol II), 269.

[13] Ibid, 270.

[14] Else Marie Wiberg Pederson, “A Man Caught Between Bad Anthropology and Good Theology? Martin Luther’s View of Women Generally and of Mary Specifically,” Dialog 49, no 3, Fall 2010 192

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed October 21, 2011).

[15] Susan C. Karant-Nunn and Merry e. Wiesner-Hanks, Luther on Women: A Sourcebook (Cabridge: Cambridge University Press, 2003), 93.

[16] Pederson, 192

[17] Karant-Nunn, 93

[18] Barbara Pitkin, "John Calvin and the Daughters of Sarah: Women in Regular and Exceptional Roles in the Exegesis of Calvin, His Predecessors, and His Contemporaries," Calvin Theological Journal 31, no. 1 (1996), 209,

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed October 21, 2011).

[19]Adam Darlage, "Double honor: elite Hutterite women in the sixteenth century," Church History 79, no. 4 (2010), 754-755,

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed October 21, 2011).

[20] Darlage, 759.

[21] Joyce L. Irwin Womanhood in Radical Protestantism: 1525-1675 (New York: Edwin Mellen Press, 1979), 133-134.

[22] Joyce L Irwin, "Anna Maria van Schurman and Antoinette Bourignon : contrasting examples of seventeenth-century pietism," Church History 60, no. 3 (1991), 301-302,

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed October 21, 2011).

[23] Irwin (1979), 37-39.

[24] Irwin (1979), 40 (parenthesis mine).

[25] Mary Stewart Van Leeuwan, After Eden: Facing the Challenge of Gender Reconciliation (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1993), 29-30.

Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman (London: Penguin Books, 1792), 100-103.

[26] James H. Smylie, "Ungodly Women: Gender and the First Wave of American Fundamentalism," Interpretation 49, no. 3 (1995), 324-22,

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed October 21, 2011).

[27] Lee Canipe, "The unlikely argument of a Baptist Fundamentalist: John Roach Straton's defense of women in the pulpit," Baptist History and Heritage 40, no. 2 (2005) 64-76,

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed October 21, 2011).

[28] Clifford James Green, "Liberation theology : Karl Barth on women and men." Union Seminary Quarterly Review 29, no. 3-4 (1974), 221-231,

ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials, EBSCOhost (accessed October 21, 2011).

[29]Helena Dawes, "THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND THE WOMAN QUESTION: CATHOLIC FEMINISM IN ITALY IN THE EARLY 1900S," Catholic Historical Review 97, no. 3 (July 2011), 525-526, Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost (accessed October 22, 2011).

Synergism

2011-09-20T17:58:00.000-07:00

What man can bring God only knows.

How death can sting, life truly shows.

But when you sing you’ll find the blows

will start to ring like warm “hellos”

from many voices far away.

And if your choices begin to sway

toward the vices of this day

you’ll earn your license to decay

and in consensus learn to say:

“fuck repentance, I want my way.”

Carpe the Day

2011-09-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

This poem was written to be performed, but here it is in written form:

The wind blows all day, and all day

I find my mind tries to find a way to say

to you, the one I write about, as I sit being watched by my books

which wish they were read, but are satisfied with being ordinary, that

this isn’t all there is.

At least, that is, I don’t think it

is. But what do I know? After all,

all who fall will be made tall, and all who

call will be heard, no matter how small or absurd.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

Cuz, this would be a great time to give a shout or a cheer.

And if you’re feeling particularly courteous you could buy me a beer.

I actually had some marrow once. It wasn’t

as nice as the dead poets said it would be, but I did have to suck it out of the bone,

thus requiring some effort.

If that doesn’t make sense, then I don’t know what doesn’t make sense.

So, as I write to you don’t think I’m through. Just because

I’ve come to the end of my time in this trend,

don’t let that send

don’t let it bend,

please let me mend

I’ll let those thoughts hang for the moment.

All these words coming to and fro won’t make due.

I’m split in thirds, by the snow, the rain, and the dew.

I work with herds, you must know what it is I do.

The radio let’s the me know what mood I should be in as

I write this sonnet to thee my fairest bride to be.

if there were any way in the world for me to be told how to feel,

I would take your hand if you would but let me.

or how to react to my present situation.

As inspiration begins to fade from this brief escapade, I

can’t help but feel delayed.

My part is being played, by someone who will remain unnamed,

And I’ve still never been laid.

Where was I?

The wrong message

or distort, your view of things

this broken relationship

Finally, find time to make noise. Because without it

well, we don’t want to find out. And frankly, I’m sick of this shit.

Life may be short, but the night is young.

And I can’t stand here analyzing how the roof of my mouth sticks to my tongue,

nor would it be appropriate to breathe without first developing a lung

or two.

So you see it’s true, that every new

day will come and from that newness

pure bliss won’t be attainable, but it’s certainly something

you can sit in your room late at night and wish for.

Reflection on August

2011-08-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in this last month, and yet it blows my mind that it’s been a month already. I guess most of it has been training and preparation, but the last week has been so crazy with students here that it’s hard to remember the first three weeks. When I first returned I was very happy to be back. It took most of the month, however, before I became fully re-adjusted to being back at Prairie. Many different things have happened throughout this month and I shall now reflect upon them.
I’ve already written an entire paper on the river trip so I won’t spend too much time here, but for one quick point. It was very fun and full of laughter, and it made me realize how blessed I am to be in this program working with such wonderful people. Kyle and I have gotten along really well, although more recently we haven’t been interacting very much at all. I want one of my priorities this year to be maintaining good relationships with the staff team, because I know that will ultimately be the best thing for the students and everyone else we serve.
After the trip we began reading through the Role of the Instructor, discussing it and establishing our groundwork for what it means to be an intern. I’ve found this book to be just as good the second time through, because this time I can connect it to experiences as an intern last year. Needless to say, I’m still learning tons about being an instructor. I’ll get back to that later. At some point we went on a retreat with most of the staff and faculty of the school. I loved this! I love talking to people and building community, so this was my ideal setting.
In addition to training, we were/are also planning and preparing for the year. We sat down as a team and went through our program design process for the Weekend of Welcome. Most of us were stoked to be finally getting into the practical aspect of planning and implementing stuff. The planning went well enough, and the implementation was wonderful. It’s actually kind of mind-blowing how well I feel like this year is going. During the weekend Keryn and I led our first impact group. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it, and they all are on board with the idea of the close community we hope to form over the year. It’s interesting how my team has quieter guys and more talkative girls.
Having guy students has been a new experience for me. It was kind of weird at first, but I quickly began feeling comfortable with it. I’ve already gotten to talk to a student who wanted guidance. I feel like this aspect of the job is very easy for me. The main thing, seems to be simply making myself available to people by stopping by their rooms every once in awhile, and making sure I’m not always out and off campus. I’m sure as the year gets busier the simple choice to be available will become increasingly difficult.
I’m also getting back into being responsible for getting a bunch of different things done. I’ve got constantly changing “to do” list. The loose summer feel of things is fading away. I’m finding it difficult to take the time to read my bible and pray. I had a crush on every girl I saw for a couple of days, but I think I’m past that. I led some of the discussion groups. That has been a blast. They all have really cool thoughts, and I’m excited for all that they will learn this year. I have to be careful not to feel “beyond” the topics that they are concerned with. I know I have much to learn from their perspectives. I’m looking forward to next week when I get to start classes and get into a normal routine.

My Vision for the Year

2011-08-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

The year of Discover 2011/2012 is about to start. After making it through one year of the internship my perspective is a bit different. Last year God taught me many new things which I hope to apply. This summer He got me started down a few different paths which I see as being very relevant as I go into this year. Through combining what I’ve learned with where I see myself headed I will attempt to cast a vision for this year.
A major lesson I came away from last year with was this importance of listening to God and to people. When I’m not listening closely for God’s voice as I live my life or as I lead in the internship I begin to forget about His sovereignty in all situations and become anxious as I try to take control. I believe God has given us the Holy Spirit to help and guide us through life. Listening to God helps me remember my place in the larger scheme of things. God is choosing to use me to carry out His will on earth. He has given me this life to use and invest as a small, but significant part of His meta-narrative. I am not in control of or responsible for the larger outcome. As a leader I want my students to get a lot out of the year, and I am responsible to invest in them, but I don’t know what plans God has for them, and cannot try to force my own agenda of life lessons on them. I can also be confident in what I do, even if it initially displeases those I’m leading.
This brings me to the second half of the lesson which I mentioned before: listening to people. In working to develop third world countries one of the main principles is the idea of empowering people to develop themselves. The approach of coming in and doing all the work for the people is actually disempowering and counter-productive in the long run. The basic principle of empowering others boils down to genuinely valuing who they are, their opinions and abilities, and just listening to them. I believe that the students coming into Discover this next year have many valuable things which I can learn and benefit from. I hope to listen to them and allow them to influence me even as I lead them throughout the year.
This summer God put me in various relationships and situations which started me down the path of wanting to be more in tune with the Holy Spirit. This path is flowing very nicely out of the lesson to listen to God. I have been exposed to more charismatic Christian circles and had new experiences with the supernatural side of reality. Prairie tends to be a very conservative place, but I feel God calling me to live out my charismatic side, being filled with the Holy Spirit and speaking the kingdom boldly into the world around me. I’m not sure exactly how this will look, but I am filled with excitement as I see God answering my prayers by expanding my understanding and experience of Him.
As I’ve walked down the path of listening to people God has put fire in my heart for the poor and oppressed people in the world. He has revived a spirit of compassion in me which I partially forgotten for a couple years, only this time it is accompanied by more wisdom and ability to act. It seems that this time in my life is mostly for me to deal with the oppressor within myself, and to acquire skills and knowledge which will render me useful in future work. I also hope to influence others around me to have the same zeal for justice and equality, as well as challenging them in their assumptions about how service works. I am particularly excited to have guys around me in whom I hope to cultivate mindsets of liberation towards women, the half of the population which has been oppressed since the fall.
In conjunction with a zeal for the Holy Spirit and liberation, I am coming into this year with a newly remembered interest in missions. The last two years in Discover taught me to critically reexamine my understanding of missions. This was an important phase, but now that I’ve gone through it I can again feel comfortable saying that I want to be a missionary. I, therefore, hope to instill the same desire for service in the Global community into my students along with pushing them into a phase of challenging their assumptions and re-working their definitions.
Finally, I and others in the program anticipate this year to be a new beginning for Discover. It has become apparent that we are suffering from an identity complex. There are a variety of contributors to this problem which have been removed. We now have new grounds to pursue self-awareness as a program. With that understanding will come an increased ability to do what we do even better. It’s quite exciting.

My pastor used an interesting image to describe the leadership of the small groups our church is divided into. He said it’s like we’re all sick and in the hospital being healed. It’s not the group leaders, however, who are the doctors. They are simply fellow patients who have been around the hospital awhile and can help others find their way. This is the image I would like to use to understand my role as an intern this year.
The students this year will be all different people coming from a variety of backgrounds. I can’t know each of their true needs even once they’re here and I get to know them, much less before they arrive. I do know, however, some general truths in regards to the setting in life most students coming into Discover tend to be in, and can extrapolate helpful insights. Many of them will most likely be entering, or already in, a stage of questioning what they have known. This is especially true for those who will be leaving their parents homes for the first time. I believe this stage in and of itself is a need and I plan on encouraging them to wrestle with what they believe and why. I also know it can be a very scary and difficult time. They may be in need of guidance, counsel, and company as they struggle through all the questions and confusion. This stage is also defined by taking responsibility for one’s own life. They will need to be given responsibility and not treated like children. There are also needs which are common to all humans. They will need to be loved, affirmed, encouraged, and rebuked.
Going into this year I know that I need help in the form of feedback from students and staff, guidance from older wiser figures around me, encouragement from my peers, and pushback to keep me in check. My main objective for the year is for students to have a genuine exposure to the brokenness of the world, creating strong desire to fix it, accompanied by awareness of the challenges, the need for preparation, and of our utter dependence on God’s grace.

As we lead our team we want to make sure we are doing our best to plan meetings and experiences that are relevant to where they are at. We will do this by communicating with each of our students each week about how they are doing. This will require some intentionality, especially with those students that are more socially active and not in dorms as often. We will also communicate with each other about how our students are doing. This will always be the basis from which we will plan our impact group times.
We want our Wednesday night impact group time to be somewhat fluid and flexible so that there is room for normal life stuff to take the place of what we had planned. In order for this to happen we will need to plan well. We want our times to have balance of fun and seriousness. This will require good planning, and creativity. We want the group to share life stories during the first semester, and we also would like to plan activities around specific things that each individual is passionate about (e.g. we find out Wade likes golfing, so we as a group go golfing). Other ideas include: Sports games, theme parties, open worship time, debriefing/processing how school/life is going, having a gender specific impact group. We would like to make a prayer wall on Facebook where our students can post prayer requests as they come up so the rest of the team can know to pray. We’d also like to try and be supportive of our school by informally attending sports events as a team.
At this stage our time in Guatemala is a bit up in the air. We discussed the idea of having Impact host families during our time at GBS. This would hopefully provide a space for students to feel more comfortable and North American.
We want to be careful about our interactions with students of the opposite gender. We will endeavor to ensure there will be no mixed gender one on one meetings conducted in private. We must be discerning even about the topics of conversation we discuss with students. If students seek consultation from the intern of the opposite gender on topics which are too intimate, then that intern will re-direct the student to the other intern and not feel obligated to continue with that discussion.
As leaders we plan on being honest with each other as well as with our students. Along with honesty we will learn the ability to accept constructive criticism, knowing that our partner has our best interest in mind.

Canoeing Reflection Paper

2011-08-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

Last week I went on a canoe trip for the first time, and I must say, it was really great. Being out in nature always brings me joy and nourishes my soul. More importantly this trip set a foundation for this next year of working as a staff team running the Discover program. God has been leading me down various paths building up to this year. Several of these were represented in various ways during the canoe trip. But before I get into that I must give an account of my adventure.
The trip itself was 5 days long, but before we began there was some preparation that needed to be done. Kendi and I were in charge of leading a day by ourselves. We met several times during the week preceding the trip to talk about the schedule of our day, the theme, the meals, how we wanted to divide the leadership, and other such things. It didn’t take us too long to plan, and we felt pretty confident and excited about how our day would go.
We started our trip by piling into my van and driving to the superstore in Red Deer to buy food for the week. Kendi and I went around and found everything we needed. It went fine, but it took longer than it should have. Later in the week Kendi mentioned something about how I had a different process of shopping for food than her. I’ve decided that I do not like shopping for food for other people. Anyways, after that we got dropped off at a camp site on the river. We went out on the river for a bit to learn some basic strokes and water-rescue techniques. I had a really hard time steering the canoe, especially up stream, and got really frustrated. That night Kyle and I had a bit of a heartfelt discussion about flirting and girls. We also had trouble sleeping because our tent was too small.
Day 2: the theme was “Learning”. We got up, ate, read Nehemiah, packed up, moved all our stuff down to the river, and set off for the day. Paddling and steering on this day didn’t seem to be as much of a problem for me. Kyle and Jesse kept a loose track of the time, but the rest of us just went with the flow. For lunch we paddled up next to each other and floated along with pb&j sandwiches. I remember being in a canoe with Kendi, and later with Melissa. That evening we camped in some tall grass and small bushes just off the river. We were right next to a beaver dam, and I sat out on a canoe for awhile and watched him swim around. Kyle and I fixed the small tent problem by opening the door and having our feet stick out. We rigged the tarp over us in a way that it kept us dry. Tiny slugs crawled over everything. We ate cheese bread.
The next morning was the beginning of mine and Kendi’s day. We got everyone up and did some stretches before going into solo devo time. Kendi and I cooked bacon and hash-browns, they were good. I felt awkward as I prayed for the day. I don’t know why. I dug a hole and pooped in it. Then we hit the river and things were pretty much normal. It was weird having the map and sort of needing to keep track of far we had gone. I preferred to just go with the flow and stop when we were ready to. Our theme for the day was opposition and perseverance. I thought God was going to make it rain so that people would be somewhat miserable and have to persevere, but then Melissa prayed that the sun would come out and it totally did. I had a lot of trouble steering on this day though and was getting super frustrated. God had a different understanding of what I needed to learn about perseverance. There were a few awkward times during our day of leading, and it kind of bothered me because I felt very competent and like it should have been easier.
The next couple days were pretty normal. I had a really fun time when I was in a canoe with Kyle R, speaking in funny accents and goofing off. Then I had another really good time being with Kyle and Jesse because we talked about Andy and it helped me continue to process some stuff. I also ate a ton of chili.
As I reflect on the trip there are a few things in particular that stick out as being relevant to this year of internship. There seems to be a lot of joy and lightheartedness in this year’s staff team. The whole trip we were laughing so much. I anticipate very fun year. At the same time we seemed to be able to take things seriously when necessary. I’m particularly excited about this balance of fun and seriousness that I see because it is something I’ve been learning about and wresting with for the last couple of years. Since coming to Prairie I’ve had the tendency to work too much and not play enough. I believe that fun is an important aspect of a program like ours. When students and interns are wrestling with huge life questions and challenges, as well as having tons of school work to do, it is extremely helpful to have some spontaneous fun. When I’m not having fun I start to take myself too seriously which can lead to an over-emphasis on a sort of works based existence where I find my identity in what I am producing.
Another aspect of the trip was the relaxed nature in regards to time, schedules, and life in general. Over the summer the idea of non-anxiousness and being ‘chill,’ in regards to leadership, really resonated with me. Last year as an intern I was too focused on planning the right thing or facilitating or discussing something so as to achieve my goals. I also had at times a pretty specific idea of what I wanted my students to be learning and how I thought they would learn it. Through various experiences I began to let go of this understanding of my role, and begin to adopt a much more relaxed approach. I plan on sticking to my values, continuing to learn and grow, and just go with the flow of the year. It’s not always up to me to figure out exactly what my students need or the perfect way to meet those needs. I felt this value was represented very well for me during the canoe trip as I just relaxed and did my job.
There were, at the same time, challenges and struggles during the trip. I mentioned before getting very frustrated with steering and with feeling awkward about leading my day. I know that there will be struggles this year, and things won’t just go smooth and easy. I did notice that it was helpful for me when I wasn’t alone in my struggle. When I heard in the debrief that other people got frustrated with steering I felt more at peace about my own struggle. The challenges I will face as a leader this year won’t be anything special that people haven’t gone through before. By remaining in community with my staff team and others I will be able to deal with the hard times.
The tension I experienced during my leadership day is a bit of a conundrum to me. It really bugs me that things didn’t go smoothly. I feel like I should be better at leading than that, but I also think I’m comfortable with making mistakes and not letting it bother me too much. But for some reason I felt pressure to perform on my day and found it hard to relax or focus, at least in the morning. I don’t know what this means or how it should be making me think about the start of the year. But I do know that I still have plenty to learn about leadership, about myself, and many other things. It may be a challenge for me to think that way at times. I feel like I won’t be surprised this year, but I could be very wrong about that. Maybe I should expect the unexpected.
There are a few sections in the book of Nehemiah about not oppressing the poor. This is a topic that God has been building in my heart for the past while. I really want to be an agent of freedom for oppressed peoples. I believe this starts with myself and allowing God to rebuke the oppressor in me. I think and hope that God has a lot to teach me and show me this year about his heart for the poor and the kind of work he is preparing me for.
Nehemiah also prays a lot. This summer I had some experiences with people of a more charismatic persuasion. Last year one of the big lessons I learned was the important to listening to God. This year I want to be very Spirit filled and led. This will primarily mean lots of prayer and intentional listening to God’s spirit. I would also like to have more group and spontaneous prayer. It should be a natural response for me to acknowledge God and the spiritual dimension in all different areas of life. This is a path which I see God taking me down, and I am excited about it, but it might be a risk for me to try and run down the path without being led down it. I want to see powerful works of the Holy Spirit and see cool stuff this year, but it could be that God has a different pace in mind for me.
The fact that Kyle and I are getting along really well is very encouraging. I see this year as being a lot healthier socially for me because I will have more dudes to hang out with. I learned a lot of things last year about being a man and am very excited to have some guys to lead and try to be a positive role model for.
The canoe trip happened. The foundation has been laid. The year is beginning. There are many paths I see God leading me down as I enter this year. Balancing fun and work, being flexible with what I expect out of my students and whatever else, dealing with hard times by remaining in community, expecting the unexpected, being against oppression, acknowledging the Holy Spirit, and leading guys are all things I think will be part of this next year. In addition to these personal paths that I am on the rafting trip was very effective at building relationships within the staff team. A path that I have been on for a bit longer is one of community. I believe that it is out of the relationships in the staff team that good modeling and leadership will overflow. Over the rafting trip I got to know my fellow interns and directors quite a bit better. We now have that shared experience to look back on as the year progresses.

Refugees United

2011-08-14T16:06:00.000-07:00

It's good to be reminded of the reality of the brokenness of our world, and of the many reasons to have hope.

Lost and Found - the story of Refugees United from Refugees United on Vimeo.

Days Like These

2011-07-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

This isn't a day to be trifled with... Trifled. Tri-fled. Trif-led...

My ankles are weak and I rolled one of them today. Yesterday I scraped my toe on some ugly asphalt and lost some chunks of skin. The day before I ate 6 (or maybe 7) slices of pizza, and on Thursday I transported large pieces of a tree from one side of my house to the other. It's things like these that I feel the need to tell you, the reader, about as I set off on this textual journey to create a cohesive post. I am aware, however, that there are more important things to write about. Yesterday I spent an hour in a small vehicle with my sister and her husband. After that we set up camp at a site near Alsea Falls. Some time later our friend Hannah Dorr showed up, and we made a fire, and we talked and laughed, and we were camping, and it was wonderful. And when I say it was wonderful I would like for the reader to pause and imagine a day in her or his life during which he or she was full of wonder. Days like these ought not be forgotten.

Some days ago I decided to stop by a 24/7 prayer room called the Upper Room. I ended up hanging out with some wonderful people who prayed over me, spoke truth into my life, and helped me let go of some harbored resentment. I've decided that it's important to listen. I want to finish this thought, but maybe I'll have to come back to it.

Here's something that's more natural for me to talk about: I haven't had a huge crush on a specific girl lately. I did, however, just go to dinner with a girl... but I don't have a crush on her. What I'm trying to say is, I haven't stuck to my new year's resolution (or my lent fast) to not flirt excessively. But more importantly, I want to be about liberation. There are many oppressed people's all around us, and I would like to be someone who leaves a wake of freedom in the lives of those I interact with. My God is big enough to use me for that. Right now I'm mostly only aware of the many ways in which I am the oppressor.

A friend of mine told me that the word manipulate means to use skillfully, but over time it has acquired negative connotation. I've recently stumbled across a forgotten word for which I used to be zealous. Missions. I want to be a missionary. Now, I've probably written blog posts in the past about my realization that we (Christians) are always on mission no matter our physical location. But right now I mean to say that I want to be involved in full time ministry in a foreign land.

Soon I'm going to be going back to school (in Canada). I'll be working as an intern for an intercultural leadership program. Isn't that cool? I think I might be on some kind of... path. Anyways, I'll miss you all in Philomath/Corvallis. I think Oregon is one of the most splendid places to live. But I'm very excited about this next year. I think it's going to be grand.

Sincerely,

Samuel

The Elements of Summer

2011-06-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

It is 11:15 PM on a Saturday night. I am sitting in my parents living room drinking sleepytime tea (a simply delightful blend of chamomile, spearmint, west indian lemongrass, tilia flowers, blackberry leaves, orange blossoms, hawthorn, and rosebuds). I spent 30-45 minutes texting and calling a few different friends of mine in an attempt to socialize and maybe have some (He pauses briefly to search his mind for a word he used to be more familiar with)... fun. Much to my dismay (but in no way to his surprise) I quickly discovered that everyone I communicated with was either busy, going to bed, or getting drunk (the latter of which he has an ever-increasing desire to do). Now, here's the deal, I really like beer, but I'm only 20 years old. Fortunately, I spend the majority of my year in Alberta, Canada where the drinking age is 18. In a month and a few days I'll be returning there, and by the time I come back home next summer I will be 21. I only mention this here as necessary context for an appropriate understanding of the issue at hand. The issue today is not girls or money, school or my future. It is a question of investment. Should I be spending my evening writing this intriguing (intriguing in a way that he can't quite place, and for reasons that he doesn't even realize) script, or should I grab one of my Dad's O'douls and watch some TV?

Now, perhaps, you are beginning to understand my dilemma. I have to

decide what to drink (not to mention what to eat to go perfectly with

that drink). You see, in order to have the best summer possible, I need

to have the best experiences, and everyone knows that the most

important part of an experience is what you are drinking (and the most

important part of what you are drinking is what you are eating to

compliment that drink). The point is, I have recently become someone

who can appreciate fine drinks. And I must say, Oregon is a great place

for it.

Still, I think I'll be glad to be back in the North soon. Though I suppose they won't let me sleep in 'til noon everyday. Nor will they have landscaping work for me to do...

Life goes on.

"You may be my Uncle Sam,

but you cannot tell me who I am..."

-Sam Schnake-

2011-05-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

I have recently found that I put a lot more energy into writing meaningless comments or facebook updates than I do into writing this blog. Thus the following examples:

"And although I won't pretend to have understood more than two paragraphs of this post, the only two which if read as one would not be succeeded by another, I will comment positively on what I did understand, at least in part, by saying, "hmm..." with an abnormally furrowed brow and immediately followed by, "I agree!" a statement which individuals such as myself who find it difficult to procure more eloquent responses to such intricate monologues often invoke, and do so, of course, in the most diplomatic tone available to them - a tactic which is commonly employed by those who enjoy saying things and wish to be diplomatic about it."

~A comment on a friends blog post~

"I took my nephew to the park today. I didn't fit in playing with him and all the other kids, and I didn't fit in standing around with the parents. But I found belonging with all the confused college students who read existential philosophy, talk about writing poetry, and post wordy conundrums on the internet... I'm home."

~A recent facebook post~

You see what I mean?!

Anyways, the real problem is that I'm not motivated to write anything good on this blog. So here's an update on my life in the form of an email I wrote to a friend recently:

So. Here's the sha-bang on my life right now:
I live at my parents house in the woods outside of Philomath Oregon. I work for them doing projects outside like clearing out wood and making burn piles, and moving some gravel, and other fun stuff. I'll probably make more money this summer than I ever have in my life (which isn't saying much). Anyways, my grandpa just turned 90 my sister and her kids are here from Tanzania, and my brother is getting married in two weeks. I rode my bike the other night and stumbled upon a large group of students in Corvallis who were going to ride around town with glow sticks, so I joined them. There were probably 500 people and it was wonderful.
I spent a good part of the afternoon today at the park with my nephew which was a new experience because I was like all the other parents hanging around watching their kids. I didn't really talk to them because I felt weird, but it was still an interesting sub-culture to observe.
Today my pastor talked about how God is Good and how truly believing that will shape our lives because we won't look to other things to satisfy us. I thought that was just swell, so I'm gonna start believing it.
Lately I've been feeling like I am always trying to over-analyze everything, especially myself. I have to diagnose myself all the time and process through everything. I used to think that was a good thing, but it's been getting kind of ridiculous. I'm still not sure exactly what to do though, because I haven't analyzed these anti-analysis thoughts enough yet... ?
But that's alright.
Anyways. My life is mostly really good. I've been daydreaming about asking random girls out on dates pretty often, so I might have to do that some day just to see what it's like. I really like working outside, and playing with my nephew and niece. I went through a tough transition with being away from school, and I'm still experiencing some of that, but I'm getting to where I can look back on the year as a whole and see it differently. I need to start writing some blog posts about it or something. Oh and I just borrowed some cool books from my anthropologist sister and brother-in-law.

Well. this is getting kind of long. I always forget that I need to externally process.

Oh. So you can pray that I will stay engaged in life and not be too analytical or take myself too seriously. Also, I've been very aware that I need to be engaged in some more community down here, but it takes effort (unlike in Discover) to find people and I haven't been trying. But I know that is really what I need, so pray that I'll stop being a fool and that God would send me some people.

Other than that all I have to offer you is a poem and a photo or two:

Disturbances of peace are

greater than or equal to

all the junk on the floor of my house.

For were I to be disturbed by

one thing or many

either way my pain would fade and

I'd be free to laugh again (not to be confused with ah - gain).

But all that to say, "I think I'll stay

a little while longer."

I've nowhere to go and no one to see.

I've nobody to show and no place to be.

Fear God

2011-04-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

This is a paper I wrote for my Psalms and Wisdom Lit. Class:

Topic: The fear of the LORD
Where it’s found (explicitly): Job – 1:1, 8, 9; 2:3; 4:6; 6:14; 9:35; 28:28; 37:24 (9 times)
Psalms – 15:4; 19:9; 22:23, 25; 25:12, 14; 27:1, 3; 31:19; 33:8, 18; 34:4, 7, 9, 11; 36:1; 47:2; 49:5; 53:5; 55:5, 19; 60:4; 61:5; 64:9; 66:16; 67:7; 72:5; 76:7, 8, 11, 12; 78:53; 85:9; 86:11; 89:7; 90:11; 96:4; 102:15; 103:11, 13, 17; 111:5, 10; 112:1, 7, 8; 115:11, 13; 118:4, 6; 119:63, 74, 79, 120; 128:1, 4; 130:4; 145:19; 147:11 (79 times)
Proverbs – 1:7, 29; 2:5; 3:7; 8:13; 9:10; 10:27; 13:13; 14:2, 26, 27; 15:16, 33; 16:6; 19:23; 22:4; 23:17; 24:21; 28:14; 29:25; 31:30 (21 times)
Ecclesiastes – 3:14; 5:7; 7:18; 8:12, 13; 12:13 (6 times)
Song of Solomon – The fear of the LORD is not explicitly addressed in this book.
What the books have to say:
The book of Job talks about the fear of God as being blameless and upright, and as turning away from evil. This means that it is both a state of being and an action. We see this primarily in the first two chapters during the prologue. Three times the text calls Job “blameless and upright, fearing God, and turning away from evil.” In these verses we see “fearing God” put between “blameless and upright” and “turning away from evil.” It would appear that these various descriptors are different sides of the same general quality that Job had. In fact, when the Satan accuses Job of only being in it for God’s blessings he shortens it to just “fear God” (1:9). We see this idea again in the synonymous parallelism of 28:28. This verse is also getting at another important aspect of the fear of God, namely, wisdom.
The Psalms speak of the fear of the LORD in a variety of ways. There doesn’t seem to be one concise theme throughout, but I will comment on a few important ones. The Psalms seem to be the most willing to talk explicitly about fearing God as dread or as truly being afraid of Him because He is sovereign (Psalm 89) and He is a powerful judge (Psalm 76). Psalm 119:120 puts it beautifully, “My flesh trembles for fear of You, and I am afraid of your judgments.”
Psalm 111 verse 10 also says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.” This is the theme of the book of Proverbs. It is found at the beginning (1:7) and throughout the book. The two-sided coin of fearing God and turning away from evil comes up again in Proverbs. We see it in 3:7, “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil,” as well as in the many antithetical parallelisms between fearing the LORD, which is good, and other things which are evil (10:27; 23:17; 24:21). Finally there’s the idea that fearing God gives life. We see this blatantly in 14:27 and 19:23.
While the book of Ecclesiastes doesn’t really say anything new it definitely shows the importance of the fear of the LORD from a more noteworthy perspective. The main message of Ecclesiastes is the purpose of life is to fear God and keep his commandments. For the majority of the book the author examines everything under the sun and concludes that it is all vain. The ultimate conclusion, however, is that man should fear God (12:13). We see a contrast between evil and fearing God (8:12-13). Verse 13 also mentions the fact that those who don’t fear God won’t lengthen their lives. The focus the book has on God’s sovereignty plays a key role in how the fear of God is portrayed (eg. 3:14) as does the theme of judgment which is the second part of the final conclusion (12:14).
Although there are multiple meanings and perspectives on the fear of the LORD, there do not appear to be any conflicts in the way the different books present it. Most of the themes I chose to focus on are visible in most of the four books talked about. It seems as though it would be quite possible to argue that the Fear of the LORD is the over-arching theme of the “Wisdom Literature.”
Fearing God in the New Testament:
The topic of fearing God doesn’t only appear in the wisdom literature, but is scattered throughout the New Testament as well. In Luke 12:5 Jesus picks up on the idea of fearing God because He is the sovereign judge. Peter says to fear God in the same breath as “honor all people,” “love the brotherhood,” and “honor the king” (1 peter 2:17). In Ephesians 5:21 Paul says, “and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” The New Testament helps us understand the fear of God from a more specifically Christian perspective instead of the older and broader view of Israel. Verses like Ephesians 5:21 remind us that Jesus is to be feared as well. There isn’t a dichotomy between the Old Testament LORD and our Christ.
Conclusion:
The fear of the LORD is a very large topic. It has many different meanings and expressions. We fear God because He is a sovereign Judge who can throw our soul into the abyss. Through this fear He gives us life. Not only that, but fearing God is an essential part of our purpose in this otherwise vain life. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. It means turning away from all evil and stepping forward into God’s plan. It is to be blameless and upright. I pray that God will continue to reveal Himself to me so that I can better know how to truly fear Him and Him alone. Amen.

Live Your Vain Life for God

2011-04-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

This is an Inductive Study I did on the book of Ecclesiastes for my Wisdom Lit. class:

Outline:

I. Introduction (1:1-11)

II. Test (1:12 – 10:7)

a. Test Introduction (1:12 – 2:26)

b. Results(3:1 – 7:22)

i. Observations (3:1 – 4:16)

ii. Commands and Observations (5:1 – 7:22)

1. Focal point (5:1-7)

c. End of Test (7:23 – 9:10)

III. Conclusion (9:11 – 12:14)

a. Build Up (9:11 – 12:8)

b. Final Conclusion (12: 9-14)

Structural Defense:

The primary literary feature I used to divide the text of Ecclesiastes was language which referred to the author’s process of trying to understand the world. “And I applied my heart to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven.” (1:12)[1] this is an example of the sort of language I am talking about and a key indicator of the first major division. It is used off and on throughout the rest of chapters 1 and 2 (1:17; 2:1, 3, 11, 12). Another indication of the first major division is that verse 12 starts out in the first person where as the introduction section appears to be a quotation. This is indicated in verse 2 where the speech breaks to say, “Says the preacher.” Finally, the first 11 verses are more poetic and serve as an important bookend directly relating to the conclusion section. This will be elaborated upon later on.

From chapter 3 through the first half of 7 there are no references to the process the narrator went through to seek out understanding. This language picks up again in 7:23, “All this I have tested by wisdom.” and appears five more times in 7:25, 8:9, 8:16, and 9:1 and finally in chapter 12 verse 13 at the very end of the book. Although the test is only referenced once at the beginning of chapter 9, other factors play into putting the next major division between 9:10 and 9:11. The first 10 verses of chapter 9 are one connected thought whereas verse 11 starts with “Again” indicating a new thought. The section 9:7-10 serves as a sarcastic and bitter exclamation point to the major “test” section by encouraging the reader to continue pursuing the things which have previously been called vain.

Aside from references to the testing process, there are other indicators for the secondary division between chapters 2 and 3. There is a dramatic shift in writing style and content as chapter 3 starts with a poem which doesn’t obviously connect in any way to the text before it. As for the secondary division in chapter 7 the use of the third person “says the Preacher” (vs. 27) is another literary feature which indicates a turning point in the text. The tertiary division between chapters 4 and 5 is important to note as well. Nowhere in the first four chapters does the narrator put forth any obligatory statements towards the audience. Chapter 5 verse 1 is the first command, “Guard your steps when you go to the house of God.” There are many other commands throughout the rest of the book after this point. The secondary division in the conclusion section between 12:8 and 9 is indicated primarily by the text switching briefly into the third person, just like in 7:27. This switch is seen in verse 8, “says the preacher,” as well as with all of verses 9 and 10.

Though there are definite divisions in the book of Ecclesiastes there are also factors which pull the various sections together, making it one book. As mentioned before, the introduction and the conclusion form an inclusio for the whole book. They do this first of all by the use of the word “preacher” 3 times in chapter 1 (vss. 1, 2, and 12), and 3 times in chapter 12 (vss. 8, 9, and 10). This word is also used once in the middle section of the text (7:27). In addition, there is a noticeable similarity between the introductory poem of 1:1-11 and 12:1-8. Both list various observations of vain things in the world, and both have the same line, “vanity of vanities, says the preacher…” (1:2, and 12:8).

There is another inclusio within the larger one. The middle “test” section begins and ends with sub-sections (1:12 – 2:26, and 7:23 – 9:10) which have references to the testing process itself. This second inclusio inside the first starts to show us that there is a chiastic structure to the book. There are also similarities in the terminology before chapter 5 and after 5:7, such as the phrase “under the sun” and words referring to seeing or having seen, which make the focus of the chiasm 5:1-7.

In the book of Ecclesiastes the word “vanity” is used in 31 times, “evil” 22 times, and the phrase “under the sun” 29 times, all of which appear in each of the three major sections. There are also references to God’s sovereignty throughout (1:13, 2:24-26, 3:9-15, 5:2, 6:2, 7:14, 7:29, 9:1, 11:5, 12:14). The repetitions mentioned above are significant literary links as well as indicators of some very strong thematic links throughout the book. In the following section I will further explore this idea.

Thematic Defense:

The theme of Ecclesiastes is that only God is worth living for. This message is communicated throughout the entire book, but can at times be difficult to see. The first crucial building block for this theme is the message that nothing under the sun is worth living for. This is the first message communicated by the preacher in Ecclesiastes (1:2), and is unavoidable throughout the rest of the book. As mentioned before the word vanity is used 31 times. On top of that, many of the passages are simply more detailed examples and elaborations regarding vanity. There are a few times when the narrator encourages the reader to “eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil” (3:13), but these passages come across as sarcastic and somewhat mocking in light of the fact that we have already been told of the vanity of those things. Ultimately the author considers very few things to be significant or worth living for except for God.

This brings me to the second building block for the theme, the way God is talked about in the book of Ecclesiastes. At no point is God portrayed as less than completely sovereign and in control. A key verse which portrays God as sovereign is 7:13, “Consider the work of God, who can make straight what he has made crooked?” The text also mentions 15 different times that God gives to man, and never does it mention man giving to God. God’s works are said to endure forever (3:14). He is talked about as “other” than the reader, or mankind (5:2, 11:5). He is to be feared (3:14, 5:7, 8:12-13). He is said to be the judge of all (3:17, 11:9, 12:14). There is a large contrast throughout between God and all that is under the sun. An important connection between the two building blocks is in chapter 5 verse 7, “For when dreams increase and words grow many, there is vanity; but God is the one you must fear.” This verse points out vanity, and then goes on to tell us what to do about it, which is to fear God. Ultimately, God should be our focus and God worth living for.

Looking back to the structure of the book itself will provide more support for the theme that only God is worth living for. The chiasm I mentioned before points us to the first 7 verses of chapter 5. This passage also stands out because it is focused on positives, what we should do, instead of negatives, what’s wrong with the world. The actual content of the passage is very much focused on the way the reader relates to God. The author must have thought it to be very important for us to know how to approach God (5:1) and interact with him (5:2).

In addition to having a chiastic structure, the book has a standard linear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. Looking then to the final conclusion at the end of chapter 12 we see that the focus is again on the way people relate to God, “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (12:13). Lastly, there is one noticeable difference between the two similar poetic passages at the beginning and end of the book mentioned before. The final poem (12:1-8) starts with a call to remember your Creator. The poem in 1:1-11 foreshadows only half of the conclusion of the book, that everything is meaningless, whereas the last poem reflects the full picture by acknowledging that God is worth remembering. Ultimately, the book of Ecclesiastes communicates in many different ways that only God is worth living for.

Theological Insights:

One minor theme in Ecclesiastes is the importance of community. This is seen primarily in chapter 4 vss. 7-12. It’s vain for a person to not have another (vs. 7), and “two are better than one” (vs. 9). This theme is also seen in the narrator’s encouragement to enjoy being married (9:9). We see this same message of the importance of community throughout Scripture even as far back as Genesis chapters 1 and 2. “God created man… male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18). This shows that the Bible doesn’t just say that community is important, but that it is an essential aspect of who we were created to be. Romans 12 verses 3-8 is one of many places in the New Testament where we see that it is in community that we represent Christ. The idea that individual members working together as one unit can form the body of Christ takes a community theology to another level. Community benefits those who are in it, but it also allows those on the outside to see and experience Christ on earth.

Another noticeable theme in Ecclesiastes is wisdom. Not only does the narrator speak about using his wisdom to seek all that is done under heaven (1:13), but he also says multiple times that wisdom is a good thing (8:1, 9:13-18, 10:10). Wisdom is spoken about constantly throughout the book of Proverbs. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (Prov. 9:10). “…Making your ear attentive to wisdom… then you will understand the fear of the Lord…” (Prov. 2:2-5). “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom…” (3:13). In Deuteronomy chapter 4 Moses tells the people to keep and do the statues and rules which he taught them then says, “for that will be your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples…” (Deut. 4:6). Here Moses speaks of wisdom as something that comes from obedience and results in others recognizing the work of God. Finally James says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously…” (James 1:5). Here James is saying first of all that it is not only possible to increase in wisdom, but that we should be pursuing it in God. God wants us to have wisdom, but it can only come from Him.

A final theme found in Ecclesiastes is judgment. “God will judge the righteous and the wicked” (Ecc. 3:17). “God will bring every deed into judgment” (Ecc. 12:14). We see this theme elsewhere in Scripture especially in the prophetic texts. Isaiah 66:16 says, “For by fire will the LORD enter into judgment, and by his sword, with all flesh; and those slain by the LORD shall be many.” Here we see that God’s judgment can be very violent and destructive. However, Psalms 75:7 reminds us that, “it is God who executes judgment, putting down one and lifting up another.” God is judge, not man, and in judging God doesn’t only put down, but lifts up as well. Finally we see in James 2:13 that “Mercy triumphs over judgment.” So, although judgment it is necessary and right, it is not the ideal.

Preaching/Teaching:

Target Audience: My Discover students (ages 18-22, Female)

Text: Ecclesiastes 5:1-7 (as well as supporting references throughout Ecclesiastes)

Samuel’s contextualized condensation of Ecclesiastes: A Sermonette

I. Everything you did this year was meaningless. (Die to self)

a. The classes

b. The ministry

c. The relationships

d. That doesn’t mean you weren’t supposed to enjoy it (eat and drink)

II. Who God is and how you relate to Him is what matters (Be raised to new life)

a. Remember what He did (acknowledge Him)

i. Know that you won’t be able to see it all

b. Guard your steps, draw near, and listen (fear him)

c. I’m not saying to look back on the year and regret having not focused on God enough (don’t take yourself too seriously)

d. Choose joy when shit gets tough (Exult in Him)

Further Questions: Is there actually a Chiastic structure in Ecclesiastes? Are the tenses I see in English from which I derived some of my divisions actually there in the Hebrew? Should any of the verses in this book be used out of context (like they always are)? How can this book be used by the common person who doesn’t have exegetical training?

[1] All Scripture quotations will be taken from the English Standard Version unless noted otherwise

Noticias

2011-04-08T12:19:00.000-07:00

This is an email I wrote to my parents a week ago:

Well hello.

All is well in El Salvador. Practicum ended today, and we are back in San Salvador at a mission home. We'll be here tomorrow as we debrief practicum, then we leave Sunday for beautiful Panajachel for 4 or 5 days before heading back to the Great White North.

Practicum was great. We lived and worked with this epic family. They're Salvadorian, but they're missionaries to that area because there isn't really any good Christian presence. It's just the Dad, Pablo, the Mom, Rosa, and one son, Charlie. They're super cool and really know what they're doing. They've planted 5 churches throughout El Salvador already. I learned a lot from talked to them and see the way they live and interact with each other. I actually would love to go back and live and work with them in the future, but that probably won't happen.

We built a couple Chicken coups for people, painted a mural at a school, put on some kids events, helped with some guitar lessons, taught some english, and more. The underlying purpose of all of those things, however, was to open doors for the missionaries by building relationships and breaking down walls. It was very successful, and we all learned a lot from it.

I kept my cold sore at a state of minimal annoyance for a while and eventually it went away totally, so that was good. My birthday was wonderful. I don't remember all what happened, but I really enjoyed it. Pablo, the dad of the family, and his friend sang folk Salvadorian birthday songs to me. He used to be in a mariachi group, so he's really good.

Like I said I've been learning a lot over practicum. The two main things I started learning about during our Spiritual Retreat which was just before coming to El Sal and I continued to learn about and see them played out during practicum. I've realized that a large tendency of men is to avoid the responsibility to other people whose lives we can have an impact on. It's so easy to just want to worry about myself and not remain present in other people's lives. So over practicum I saw how God can use me through simple things like playing catch with some boys, or coloring, or sharing things I've learned or parts of my story with people. I've also realized that I really want to go into ministry to men. The second thing I learned was about listening to God and to people. During the retreat I realized I wasn’t listening to God, and during practicum I was in a position where I wasn’t supposed to be leading so I had to hold my tongue a lot which helped me truly listen to people. It was really cool. I also learned a bunch about leadership.

We ate some pasta with tuna today and it reminded me a bit of your infamous caserol. I've been thinking a bit about this summer and I'm really looking forward to it. I realize life isn't the most exciting up there these days, but I could use a bit of that...

Thanks for caring.

Love,
Samuel

Today is my last day in Central America this year. I'll be back in Canada tomorrow night, but not back in the US until May.

That's all for now.

January Newsletter

2011-03-01T12:33:00.001-08:00

Here's a link to the Newsletter Discover (The experiential education program I am interning for) put out for January:

http://www1.prairie.edu/pdf/Discover/Newsletter.pdf

Nehemiah Was a Development Practitioner

2011-02-23T13:33:00.000-08:00

This is a paper I wrote for my class on Principles for Christian Sustainable Development:

The Bible is the living word of God and our primary means as Christians for knowing truth. Much of what it says may seem out-dated and irrelevant considering it was written thousands of years ago. However, truth does not expire and the words of this document are always applicable to everyone. In the book of Nehemiah we are told part of the story of the restoration of Israel after the exile. From this story we can extract many truth principles in regards to transformational development which are still applicable today. My definition of transformational development is, “glorifying God by aiding the poor in reconciliation.” The three main principles of this definition can be found in the book of Nehemiah. He acknowledges and glorifies God, sees the poor as equals, and helps the nation move towards reconciliation.

The most important principle we can take from Nehemiah in regards to development, or any area of life, is that He was constantly in prayer, acknowledging God, and doing all for His glory. As soon as Nehemiah hears about how Jerusalem is in ruins (1:1-3) he sits down in mourning then fasts and prays to God (vs. 4). The first part of his prayer is him glorifying God, speaking of His greatness and steadfast love (vs. 5). He then goes on to repent and asks for forgiveness (vss. 6 ff.). Later, when the king grants Nehemiah what he is asking, he attributes it to the good hand of God (2:8). He goes on to acknowledge God in various ways many times throughout the rest of the book (2:12, 18, 20, 4:4, 9, 14, 15, 20, 5:9, 13, 15, 19, 6:9, 12, 14, 16, 7:5, and many more).

There are a few reasons why acknowledging and glorifying God, through prayer and otherwise, is an important principle for transformational development. First of all, our life purpose as Christians is to Glorify God, a calling which must directly influence all areas of life. Secondly, the book of proverbs says, “In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight” (Prov. 3:6). To acknowledge God in everything is to maintain the proper perspective. He is the reason for all, the beginning and the end, from whom all creatures get their identity. Lastly, God is sovereign and it is therefore logical to be on His side and seek His help, because without Him nothing good can be accomplished.

The practical application of this principle doesn’t necessarily differ at all from how we see it demonstrated through Nehemiah. We must pray continually. We must also be sure to attribute all that is good to God and not to ourselves. Humility is an essential result of acknowledging and glorifying God. Development work must be done in humility or we will further mar the identity of the poor by playing God in their lives. Acknowledging God should not only be the practice and priority of the development practitioner, but if at all possible of the community as well. Group prayer times would be an excellent way to acknowledge God together with the community.

Another principle found in Nehemiah is an emphasis on equality. In Chapter 5 a conflict arises when Nehemiah finds out that there are poor people being oppressed. When Nehemiah hears the cry of the poor he is angry with the nobles and officials who were extracting interest from the poor (5:7). He commands them to return the land to the people and stop taking from them (11-12). In doing this Nehemiah demonstrates the importance of equality and brotherly love.

This principle is extremely important for development work. If we don’t expect equality we will only succeed at playing God in the lives of the poor thus marring their identity even more. Further-more seeing others as equal is an essential aspect of loving them which is the second half of the greatest commandment (Matt. 22:39). The application of this principle goes much deeper than our actions. We must first truly see others as equal in order to avoid doing harm. This shift in worldview may not be entirely attainable in our fallen state, but it must be sought after. This seeking is part of the life-long process of reconciliation which we as Christians are all in.

Reconciliation is another important principle displayed in Nehemiah. In chapter 9 all of Israel mourns and confesses their sins to God. Then, in Chapter 10, they renew their covenant with God. This is part of their spiritual reconciliation to God. Throughout the book, of course, they are rebuilding their city and gathering the people who had been scattered. This is a type of physical reconciliation. In the last chapter (13) there are still many reforms happening. Nehemiah has to tell people not to work on Sabbaths (15-22). He throws out a corrupt priest who was living in the temple (4-9). Finally, he cleanses the land of everything foreign (30). These are all aspects of Israel’s reconciliation to God’s intended identity and vocation for them.

Reconciliation is important in development because it is important in life in general. This principle forces us to remember the broader perspective of God’s plan in the world. He is reconciling all of creation back to himself. It is also significant to not that Nehemiah didn’t try to separate the spiritual reconciliation from the physical restoration of Israel. His thinking was holistic.

This principle of holistic reconciliation is very applicable today. Our primary goal in regards to the people we work with must always be to move them, along with ourselves, towards full reconciliation. I chose to define reconciliation as progress towards God’s intended state of being. We may not know fully what that intended state is to look like, but we do know some things. God wants us to be in right relationship with Him and that requires repentance, as shown in Nehemiah. He also wants us to be free of sin and all the pain and death that come with it. This means improving physical conditions as well.

We can learn a lot about transformational development from the book of Nehemiah. The three main principles are that he acknowledges and glorifies God, sees the poor as equals, and helps the nation move towards reconciliation. These three principles capture the heart of Christian transformational development. God must always be acknowledged and glorified, and if He isn’t then the work is in vain. A mindset of equality must be sought after for us to be glorifying God and so as to avoid the marring of peoples identities. The ultimate goal must be holistic reconciliation because that is God’s plan for the world.

Christmas Break Reflection

2011-02-23T13:20:00.000-08:00

I had to write a reflection on Christmas break for my Spiritual Formation class:

First semester was very good, but also very difficult and draining. Christmas break was very needed. I came home and I slept a lot. I hung out with my family and friends and talked. I spent a lot of time just sitting and thinking over things that happened 1st term. It’s hard to remember the exact progression I went through over the break, but I know there was a mixture of positives and negatives. I really enjoyed the rest, but I also started to get depressed and apathetic because I wasn’t doing anything. I think it started out really good, got bad towards the middle, then got good again towards the end. I remember going into Second semester very refreshed and excited. God had taught me a ton first semester and the break was just what I had needed to reflect and rejuvenate for second term.
Another thing that happened, and I can’t exactly say where this fits with the aforementioned, had to do with my interactions with non-Christian friends. Back home I have a lot of non-Christian, and nominal Christian friends. This break, more so than any other time that I’ve come home from school, it really hit me how distant they are from me by not sharing my faith. I’ve grown so accustomed this year to always interacting with people about deep spiritual things in our lives along with having fun and doing all that other ‘normal’ stuff. I found myself torn and confused interacting with people who completely separate their spiritual lives from the rest of their lives. So, I guess the issue is partly just with modernity and the all too common idea that the material world is all we know and therefore all we should interact with.
But also I was depressed because I didn’t know if I was witnessing to them or not. I’m really into communication and when my friends and I didn’t openly communicate about spiritual matters I felt lost and unsure if I was doing was I was supposed to be or not. Is it really possible for me to live such a good life among the pagans that they will see me and glorify God?
I realize that my tension here comes from me wanting to be in control instead of God. I know I am often supposed to live in the tension of uncertainty. But it sucks. I hate not knowing. I can’t stand not communicating. But I don’t think it would really help for me to just start talking with my friends about things which they just never think about and feel awkward about.
Now, I have had some great advances in this area of missiological tension as well. Leslie Newbigin says that missions isn’t about saving souls, it’s about glorifying God. I think this is an important distinction because as long as I am being obedient and submissive to the will of God, I know that I am doing my part. I may be unaware of the results and the impact I’m having (not that I should intentionally ignore those), but that’s okay. And although it sucks, it’s also quite a relief. Because I try to control and understand things all the time and it is just so dang tiring and hard. I don’t really know what makes me want to do it in the first place… Not that laziness is a better alternative…
Anyways. Life is hard, then you die. And God is good.
Amen

My Little Sister

2011-02-20T18:02:00.000-08:00

I always walked slowly down that street. It never let me hurry. Especially on those rainy fall days with all those wet leaves clinging to the pavement like wads of toilet paper been soaked and thrown at somethin. Maybe a bit like the way my little sister clung to my hand along the way. She wouldn't let go til I opened the front door. And like I was saying, we walked slowly. There wasn't any real hurry anyways. I mean, there's always something to get to, but we'd usually forget about that cuz of where we already were. Didn't seem to matter too much if it was a beautiful day or anything. Like I said, the rainy ones seemed to be the slowest.
So anyways, there we were. Only it was frosty, not rainy. And even though plenty of people lived near by they never seemed to be out at that time. I liked to look at the lawns and garages and basketball hoops, imaging that they got used at some obscure time of day when I was never out. Or maybe they saw us coming and told all the kids to hide for fear of being found out to be useful. Sometimes I'd talk to my sister about it. She'd usually listen like she hadn't hear me talk about it before. She always was a good listener. Made me feel like I wasn't quite so crazy. I am crazy though. I can't really deny it.
Anyways, that day I was telling her about how I was thinking about what those kids did if they were never out in their lawn or playing basketball or riding their bikes. It seemed like the most worth-while question to be pondering at that given time. She didn't agree I guess. Like I said, she normally listens like she's learning something new, but this time she was bored or something, I couldn't really say, but she just started asking her own questions, thinking out loud and all.
"What about the stuff?" she asked. "What does it do if it never gets used? Doesn't it need to be used to be... to be what it is?" She started getting excited. Worked up, I guess you could say. "I mean, if a bike never gets rid, who's to say it's a bike? Might as well be a windmill!"

(To be continued...)

Spiritual Formation

2011-02-08T15:36:00.000-08:00

The following is an assignment I did for my Spiritual Formation class. It speaks indirectly to some stuff I went through last term as well as how I grew from that. It also references a series of chapels which can be listened to here: http://web.me.com/thomascollins_e1/Collins_Connection/Podcast/Podcast.html

SF End of Term Evaluation

The second half of the first term was quite challenging for me. Partially because of a heavy work load, but the primary cause of my difficulties was a beautiful woman. I wrestled through the heavy burden of attraction, and was broken by the deep pain of rejection. Despite the shitty-ness of it all, I found the trials to be refreshingly real and extremely beneficial to my spiritual, personal, and interpersonal growth. I was given an opportunity to apply what I have been learning for the last year and a half. As I look back on my notes from the chapels for the second half of last term and reflect on my experiences I can see many things God has done in me. Here I will attempt to describe how I have grown using these two sources.

Amidst my time of intense attraction, I found myself being very open verbally about it, especially with my staff team. I was looking to them to support me as my community because I was having to wrestle through some difficult stuff and I needed wisdom. But the topic of my relationship with this lady came up in conversation with many other people as well. I was never ashamed about the situation and always quick to want to talk about it. In the 7^th Chapel Tom talked about James 3 and the idea that ‘words are works.’ The part about taming the tongue stuck out to my and became very relevant during this time of seeking support. My director Kyle was asking me about how things were going with this lady, and he mentioned that he was concerned that I was being too open. He mentioned a story in which the main character is extremely vulnerable all the time and ends up hurting everyone around him as a result. I realized that I needed to tame my tongue. I was placing too high a value on honesty and openness and forgetting the importance of discretion. This is something I’m still working on, but have gotten a lot better at.

In the 8^th Chapel Tom talked about wisdom. As I looked back on my notes I realized that God answered my many prayers for wisdom throughout my struggles. I believe this because most of the characteristics and conclusions of wisdom mentioned I can see in the way I handled various situations. This is very encouraging. My motives were being made more and more pure. I was becoming more peaceable through being patient and allowing myself to sit in some tension. I was considerate of the various people affected by my actions (some of the time). I was a bit slow to be submissive, but I improved in that area. I showed mercy. Much good fruit came from it all. I think I was pretty sincere throughout as well. Also, I believe I have matured in my faith and as an individual and increased in righteousness. I praise God for giving me wisdom and pray that he will continue to do so.

In the 9^th Chapel Tom spoke about conflict. Last semester I had to deal with a lot of conflict. This idea that my evil desires are the root of my conflict makes a lot of sense to me. I found when I let go of control and sought what it was God desired that it was much easier to deal with whatever conflict came up. It didn’t make things conflict-free, but I was able to see more clearly how I should approach a situation and what God was doing in it.

The 10^th Chapel was about ‘planning without God.’ I ran into this some last semester, but I have tried pretty hard to hold any plans I make loosely and allow them to be corrected by God. In my situation with this lady I wasn’t really making plans, and I was definitely praying a lot about it. However, things happened and I got kind of screwed over. I don’t think this was because I did something wrong, but because God was doing a work in me.

11^th Chapel – Proceed with Care. The idea of patience was a big one last term. It was very difficult for me to sit in the tension of my difficult to define relationship with this lady. I really liked that James said patience is not attacking or giving up. I related this to the idea of ‘Fight or Flight’ which has come up for me a lot recently. It seems that God wants us to live between the extremes that we naturally (second-naturally) go to. I’m still trying to figure this idea out, but it’s making a lot of sense to me so far. What Tom said about this being real life and that “we should do it with gusto and do it for His glory” was something that I had already been experiencing during my time of heartbreak. I was able push forward knowing that the testing of my faith was developing perseverance.

SF 12, “Encompassing Instructions.” A lot of this last Chapel was relevant to what I experienced last term. I learned to speak honestly, to pray more, to ask for prayer from people I trust, to have confidence through patience and persistence, and that God can and does use everything that happens to us.

I praise God for all the work he did in my life last semester and pray that He will do even greater things this semester. Amen.

Discover News

2011-02-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

Here is a link to the November/December Discover newsletter:

http://www1.prairie.edu/pdf/Discover/Newsletter.pdf

There should be a January one coming out soon.

In case you didn't know, I'm in Guatemala. It's pretty boss. It's tough to focus on being down here in the culture learning the language while also being on staff for my program. I'm definitely learning a lot though. It's cool to see my students grow as they go through new experiences and challenges.

Oh, I never told you about my new years resolution. I've resolved to not become helplessly enamored with some lady this year. Also, I'm planning on giving up all forms of flirting for lent.

...well now that I've made that public I guess I'd better start taking it seriously.

Seriously though, I have a problem. I don't think flirting is bad, nor being enamored. But it's become a focal point of my life.

If you want to know the truth I'm quite the child. I've become increasingly aware of that recently.

I love the wind. What does it think it's doing anyway? Pushing things around and all, pretending to be so gentle and indecisive when really it's just toying with us all.

I like the volcano called Agua. Dormant and green. Just watches. Doesn't even act like it's a volcano. Probly cuz it knows it is and it knows it doesn't have nothin to show.

I have a dear friend named Sarah. I bought some green coffee beans with her today. We talked about dying to self. Sometimes the way she thinks frustrates me, but secretly I'm jealous.

I've become a bit more stable lately. I'm not sure what that's about, but I think it's true. No kidding. I hope it's not just temporary. I mean, I know I'll lose myself many times before it's over, but I think some things can still change for good.

Catcher and the Rye made a significant impression on me. That kid. Shoot, what a guy. What the hell was he thinking... What a phoney.

I've decided that inside jokes are really quite lovely (I just caught myself wanting to use Spanish because I felt I could express myself more truly. That happens sometimes though). They only happen when there's relationship. And they can be so powerful in the way they strengthen that relationship. Albeit (That's a weird word which I've never used before) they may damage or destroy others in the process ( proh-cess, not prah-cess).

I think if I could chose a perfect setting (perfect smell, light, people, place, taste, sounds, feel) I wouldn't.

God's been teaching me about solitude. Good timing God. I've learned that I actually have a pretty significant introvert side. It's taken me awhile to realize this, and though I haven't gotten it all figured out yet it's been quite helpful.

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me." ~C.S. Lewis~

Now do you think he meant something super profound when he said that or does he just like reading and tea?

The point is not everything is as it seems.

you can't plant an egg in the ground and expect to get a chicken.

Don't put your ducks in a row because they might get killed by one stone.

I get tired of being around women all the time, and yet I talk about women all the time... especially with guys. "Does that seem right to you?" ~Hurley (Firefly)~

I make a lot of references. Maybe that's why I like research papers...

Insecurity is annoying. Both when I'm experiencing it and when I see it in other people.

I'm tripping out on the fact that I can blog right now even though I'm not depressed. Last semester was real hard for me and I got pretty depressed plenty of times, but for some reason I never blogged about it. I tried a few times. I swear.

Stuff never happens when you think it should, and thank God for that.

As my Grandpa always says, "Yeah, that's about right."

I've been learning that I shouldn't eat very much sugar. It affects me pretty strongly. Junk-food in general too. Damn, I'm not 12 anymore.

What else have I learned recently?

I did a chapel on Ephesians 2 last week. It was really good. I should plan for chapels more often, even if I'm not even putting one on, it helps me focus on Scripture and come away with something concrete which I can clearly articulate.

Here's what I got: Remember Grace and Peace.

That's my thesis for Ephesians 2. Tell me what you think.

Guatemalan food is so good. This week we're mostly eating American food, but the two weeks before, when we were staying with host families, we got good 'ol Guatemalan cuisine. Why don't we eat tortillas in North America like they do down here. Really though, I don't think it would be the same if I tried to eat Guatemalan food in Canada. When in Rome, eh?

The apple may not fall too far from the tree, but in falling it can completely revolutionize the way people view the world.

Damn I'm good...

Have I mentioned my realization that Oregonians value humor quite a bit. More than most other people I've met it seems. We're always trying to get a joke in. Canadians think I'm funny, but in Oregon I'm pretty normal... That's not true necessarily. (The truthfulness of that statement [The one about being funny to Canadians and not Oregonians] is not imperative).

Did you know you can't need anything unless you first want something? Except for God. We need Him, even if we don't want any of the things He has to offer.

I've been thinking about the Spiritual world lately. I read this one dude who was talking about how in modern societies there's this phenomena called 'the excluded middle.' The idea is essentially that pre-modern societies (the majority of the world) recognizes a Spiritual realm which interacts with our physical world on a regular basis. Shamans, witch doctors, curses, angels, demons, miracles, and the like. Where-as modern societies don't.

The point is, I do believe in miracles. I also believe I can attribute things to the Spiritual realm not as a way of explaining them, but as a humble acknowledgement of a reality that is greater than my five senses.

The Pentecostals were ahead of their time... Nice one Mom.

It feels good to write.

But, I should stop.

Christianity and Modern Slavery

2011-01-11T19:36:00.000-08:00

Here's another paper I wrote for my Christianity and Culture class last term:

Christianity and Modern Slavery
“the Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound” (Isaiah 61:1).[1]
Although slavery is now illegal in all countries it continues to occur all over the world. This modern slavery takes on many forms. As Christians we must respond to this atrocity. There are many organizations that are pursuing various routes to free slaves. Eastern Asia is one area that has a particularly high rate of slavery largely because of cultural worldviews which are very accepting of it. Three organizations which do work in that part of the world are: Chab Dai, Love 146, and Interserve. They are distinct in their practical approaches, but they are all valid ways to proclaim liberty to the captives.

Chab Dai is a Christian organization which started in Cambodia, but now has offices in the US and Canada as well. They work to “bring an end to trafficking and sexual exploitation” primarily through working with other existing organizations, connecting them with each other, and equipping them to do what they do better. [2] One of the ways they do this is through research. They believe that a well informed understanding about past and present situations is essential for the individuals and organizations working against slavery. They’ve released at least one in depth research paper looking into trafficking of Vietnamese girls in a specific city. They have two other research projects in progress. One is on the trafficking patterns in certain parts of Cambodia and the other is a ten-year long examination of the reintegration of survivors rescued from slavery.[3]

Research such as that of Chab Dai is essential in efforts to free slaves. By having very specified research projects they set a solid base of understanding on which direct action can begin to be built. This research isn’t simply to inform people like myself about the existence of slavery, though that is helpful as well. Also, the fact that this organization primarily seeks to help other organizations do what they’re already doing better is very logical. If there are lots of people who are zealous for making a difference they need to be organized and equipped to carry out their visions effectively.

The research on the reintegration of survivors would be especially beneficial to another organization, Love 146. They are not technically a Christian organization, but the founders and many staff members are Christian.[4] They work in various places around the world including south-east Asia.[5] One program they have is for children who have been freed from the sex slave industry. This is called “The Round Home”. It is literally a round house where these children live in and are holistically cared for. They provide physical safety by having a concrete fence surrounding the house with a guard. They provide healthy food, school materials, medical care, psychotherapeutic help, basic life skills, job training, and much more.[6]

Love 146 is meeting a crucial need through their extensive reintegration projects. Freed slaves won’t get very far without programs like these to guide them on the path to restoration. The philosophy of caring for the children holistically is an important one. It wouldn’t be sufficient to simply provide for their physical needs especially considering the emotional trauma they’ve experienced. The specific actions they have in place are very logical and practical. The fact that they aren’t outwardly a Christian organization can also be quite useful. It allows them more freedom to work in places where there might be antagonism to Christians. It could also help break down the idea that Christianity is a western religion. The staff members who are Christian can still be ambassadors for Christ, but they don’t have to battle through all the assumptions and preconceptions that come with bearing the title of ‘Christian Aid Worker’.

Being ambassadors for Christ should always be the primary goal of Christians. The aforementioned organizations and strategies which seek to eliminate slavery are very good practical ways for the Christian faith to be lived out in the world. It is important, however, that they are seen as exactly that, and not as goals in and of themselves. Slavery is a large and complex problem which only the transforming power of the Gospel can solve. In light of this, the last Christian organization I will explore is focused on cross-cultural missions and does not have any specific focus on slavery.

Interserve works in many places throughout the world including South-east Asia. They believe that “every type of work is mission if it is done with the aim of serving God and seeing his kingdom built.” Therefore, they work on an individual basis with the ‘missionaries’ to see what location and type of work will best suite them and best advance the kingdom. The work that is done isn’t their only concern, however, because they believe Christians should be “salt and light” in every area of life.[7] In East Asia they have projects in engineering, forestry, language teaching, and business.[8]

Interserve is rooted in a solid understanding of ‘missions’ and people. By not having a set program for their members they allow for individuals to personalize their own work. This is important because everyone is created differently with their own gifts and areas of expertise. Also, the idea that missions isn’t simply a vocation, but the entire life of the Christian is an essential reality to be aware of. Westerners have specific skills to bring to less developed countries, but their entire lives are how they bear witness. Through being faithful witnesses of Christ and Him dying, Christians can begin to transform the cultures in which slavery is so acceptable. This method may seem very indirect, but it is not irrelevant.

All of the organizations and methods mentioned are and should be used by Christians. They are distinct in their practical approaches, but they are all valid ways to bring the Gospel into a culture which supports slavery. Chab Dai connects smaller organizations and equips them with research and other tools to do their jobs well. Love 146 provides safe environments for children freed from the sex-slave industry to heal and reintegrate into society. Interserve allows workers to bring skills into foreign countries while also being faithful witnesses to the Gospel. Christians everywhere are called to be liberators and bearers of the Truth of the Good News which sets people free, and this can be done in many different ways.

[1] Scripture quoted from the English Standard Version.

[2] Chab Dai, “About Chab Dai,” Chadai.org,

http://www.chabdai.org/aboutus.html (accessed Dec. 14, 2010).

[3] Chab Dai, “Research,” ChabDai.org,

http://www.chabdai.org/research.html (accessed Dec. 14, 2010).

The research paper can be read here: http://www.chabdai.org/research_files/VIET%2009%20At%20What%20Price%20Honour.pdf

[4] Love 146, “FAQ,” Love146.org,

http://love146.org/faq#faith%20based (accessed Dec. 14, 2010).

[5] Love 146, “The Love 146 Response,” Love146.org,

http://love146.org/map (accessed Dec. 14, 2010).

[6] Love 146, “Philosophy of Aftercare,” Love146.org,

http://love146.org/sites/default/files/images/RoundedHomePhilosophy_2010.pdf (accessed Dec. 14, 2010).

[7] Interserve, “About Us: What We Do,” Interserve.org.uk,

http://www.interserve.org.uk/About%20us/What%20we%20do.aspx (accessed Dec. 14, 2010).

[8] Interserve, “Where We Work: East Asia,” Interserve.org.uk, http://www.interserve.org.uk/Where%20we%20work/East%20Asia.aspx (accessed Dec. 14, 2010).

A Couple of Papers

2010-12-05T15:47:00.001-08:00

I wrote this paper for my 'Christianity and Culture' class. It's about how television is a poor medium for communicating the Gospel.

I wrote this paper for my 'Cross-Cultural Communications' class. It's about the emerging church as a contextualized movement

Some day I'll write specifically for this blog, but I have too much to write for school to justify it right now.

Peace be with you,

Sam Schnake

Christianity and Culture

2010-11-25T19:07:00.001-08:00

Oh hey, here's a paper I wrote:

“Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19).[1] This command, given by Jesus before His ascension, should not be taken lightly considering the fact that, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me [Jesus]” (Matt. 28:18). Therefore, it is with good reason that many people have asked, “How the heck do we do this?” In his article, “But We Do See Jesus”, John Howard Yoder mentions a variety of strategies employed by Christians when approaching the larger world context (i.e. ‘making disciples of all nations’).[2] I will describe three of these strategies or stances which I find most useful, and then argue for the one which should be the default for Christians in my place of origin.

“Because mother told me so”: A very common stance taken in regards to Christianity and culture is “staying by one’s particular truth.” Other truths are wrong and only the Gospel is right. Thus, the gospel is held in contrast to what the world (society, culture) believes.[3] This stance is useful because it understands the fact that the “good news” of Christ is in opposition to the wisdom of the world (see 1 Cor. 1:20). Non-believers, when confronted with this stance, may feel as though their particular truth is being attacked. This, again, is useful because the world needs to learn that its base assumptions and values are wrong.

The Amish demonstrate this stance to a certain degree as they relate to the larger Christian context. They understand their interpretation of how to live out Scripture to be true, and they defend it as such. In the book ‘Amish Grace’ their view of forgiveness is described as “reversed” from that of the more popular protestant view. The Amish believe that they need to forgive in order to be forgiven, while many other Protestants believe that their ability to forgive is dependent on God first forgiving them. The Amish would tell those who disagree with them to simply look at Scripture. One Amish lady said, “It’s pretty plain, don’t you think?”[4]

Accentuated Humility: One thing the “because my mother told me so” stance may be lacking is humility. This next useful strategy is similar to the first in that it continues to hold to the particular truth of the Gospel. It differs, however, by humbly recognizing other particularities and the larger world. Those with this stance would say that their truth is right for them, but would neither condemn nor praise what the rest of the world believes. They don’t conform to the beliefs of the world, nor do they expect the world to conform to their beliefs. By living in this double standard they remain faithful to the truth of the Gospel in the midst of a contrasting context. This sheds light on those around and exposes their sinfulness. People will be drawn to the particular truth of the Gospel which visibly, but not forcefully, demonstrates what it means to follow the one true God.

The Amish are a solid example of this strategy. Jesus’ metaphor of ‘a city on a hill’ has been used to describe the Amish and the way they relate to culture. They don’t participate in evangelistic work and they are mostly independent of the larger society around them. They instead focus on being faithful to God as a community, and trust Him to work in the lives of those who see them.[5] Their stance on violence is another good example of accentuated humility. The Amish are pacifists, but they don’t expect their national government to be.[6]

An Ancient Paradigm: This stance is similar to the first two in that it continues to hold to the particular truth of the Gospel. Its adherents immerse themselves in the contexts of those outside of their particular truth so that they may effectively communicate that truth as good news. The Gospel doesn’t fit into the world’s categories because it is rooted in an entirely different base. Therefore, to communicate the truth it is necessary to introduce an entirely new category or way of thinking. The language of the outsider’s cosmology needs to be “seized and used for a different message.” [7] The usefulness of this stance will be explored as the “Default Stance”.

The Amish demonstrate this third stance as well. Though they don’t openly try to change the cosmology of the outside world in order to communicate the Gospel, they do so through modeling a kingdom life. The Amish live out this unworldly cosmology in such a radical way that they non-verbally communicate the deeper truth of the kingdom to the world. The way the larger society reacted to the forgiveness at Nickel Mines demonstrates that it saw something in the Amish that didn’t fit in its categories. Many people seemed incapable of comprehending it. The Amish simply lived lives rooted in God’s Truth. The world saw it and was influenced by it.[8]

The Default Stance: The “Ancient Paradigm” stance should be the default for believers in my area of origin.[9] This is a better stance than the previous two because it has a deeper understanding of the truth of the Gospel, which goes beyond comparing it to the truths of the world. The “because mother told me so” strategy can be unwilling to enter into outside contexts and learn the language before trying to change the cosmology. ‘Accentuated Humility’ does seem to recognize the need for a totally different cosmology, but it doesn’t see the need to communicate that directly to outsiders.

The idea of being, “in the world, but not of it” (taken from John 17) is a solid backing for this stance. To be “of” something is to point to it as the root or base of existence. We are to be “of” God. He is our base, and from Him we get our definition. That is the starting point (or base) of the Gospel and it is completely reversed from that of the world. The name itself, “ancient paradigm” suggests another reason for the validity of this stance. It is supported by close examinations of biblical models for interacting with culture.[10]

There are a variety of strategies employed by Christians when interacting with culture, many of which are useful. Three valid stances are: to defend the particularity of the Gospel, to accentuate the humility with which that particularity is held, or to present that particularity as good news. The latter of the three stances should be the default because it expresses the fullest understanding of what it means to bear the good news, and is the most biblically backed. As we respond to Jesus’ command to go and make disciples of all nations, we can learn a lot from these models and the examples we see in people such as the Amish, but we must never forget how He finished that command. “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matt. 28:20)

[1] All Scripture quotations will be taken from the English Standard Version.

[2] John Howard Yoder, The Priestly Kingdom, (Notre Dame, University of Notre Dame Press, 1984), 48-49.

[3] Ibid, 48

[4] Donald B. Kraybill, Steven M. Nold, and David L. Weaver-Zercher, Amish Grace (San Francisco: Jossey-Base, 2007), 96.

[5] Ibid, 51-52

[6] Ibid, 170

[7] Yoder, 51

[8] Kraybill, 53-56

[9] I was born and raised in the small town of Philomath, Oregon.

The principle of this stance can be understood and communicated in many different ways, but the truth at its core is applicable to any context. All three of the stances mentioned in this paper can potentially be different ways of understanding and articulating the same truth principle, but I understand this last stance to be the most clear.

[10] Yoder, 50-53

Growth Goals

2010-10-25T21:43:00.001-07:00

This is another assignment I had to do for my Spiritual Formation class:

Spiritual Growth Goals 2010

“The end of all things is at hand: therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.” (1 Peter 4:7)

People are holistic beings made up of multiple parts. One model I really like divides the person into: Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Social beings. These separate parts, however, do not function independently of each other. They are all interrelated. If I change something in one area it will have an impact on every other area. Therefore, in order for me to grow spiritually I must be growing mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially as well.

I need to be disciplined or ‘self-controlled’ in these different areas to be healthy in a holistic way.

Thus the following goal is to be aware of and disciplined in:

1. Spiritual health

a. Prayer

i. Understanding Prayer

ii. Consistency

iii. Honesty

b. Reading the Bible

i. Meditation on Scripture as a regular practice

c. Worship

i. Being a living sacrifice

2. Physical health

a. Some form of exercise every day

b. Eating healthy

c. Sufficient Sleep

d. Prayer

3. Social health

a. Solitude

b. 1:1, small group, and large group interactions

c. Praying with people

d. Reading the Bible with people

4. Emotional health

a. Mourning and Celebration

b. Prayer

5. Mental health

a. Study

b. Time for my brain to chill out

c. Meditation

d. Prayer

My second goal is to learn to fear God. I decided to relate this to the idea of being sober-minded. I’m not sure if that is correct to do, but it worked well with the verse I felt God was giving me. I don’t have much else to say about this except that I intend to pray, talk, and read about fearing God in the hope that I will begin to do it.

In conclusion: Prayer will be my primary method for meeting these goals.

Recent Growth

2010-10-22T16:57:00.000-07:00

This is an assignment I wrote for my Spiritual Formation class:

Mid-Semester Update on Sam Schnake’s Spiritual Formation

So far this year God has been teaching me a lot. As I look back I am now able to see where a lot of the truths came from which have built upon one another to where I’m at now. So for this paper I’m going to draw from the chapels, SF class time, and other sources which have all contributed to my recent growth.

In the first chapel Tom said that if there is a bad, then there is a good that has been perverted. I liked this and wrote it down and stored it away for later. In the second chapel Tom said something about how the key to a marriage was being able to say, “I was wrong, I’m sorry, will you forgive me,” something I’ve heard him say many times. I decided I liked it and wrote it down. In the 4^th chapel Tom talked about how trials reveal faith. I gleaned from the 5^th chapel the idea of needing to identify your will so that you can submit it to God.

It should be noted that I listened to the first four chapels in a row, and the fifth and sixth were over the next two Mondays. I mention this to say that after the four, but before and during the time of the 5^th God was teaching me a very important lesson. He began to reveal to me my deep desire and need for intimacy. I first started to realize it after a conversation I had with a friend who said she didn’t feel like I was letting her get to know me. That resonated deeply with me, but I wasn’t sure exactly why. Slowly I learned that I had a deep need to be known, but I was afraid of it at the same time. I recognized that several large issues in my life are rooted in that need (infatuation, pornography, loneliness, and maybe some others). So I concluded that the need was there, and it was essentially good (see lesson gleaned from chapel #1), but that I was seeking to fulfill it in the wrong places. Henri Nouwen’s book “Intimacy” happened to be lying in the intern office one day while I was still in the early stages of figuring this thing out, and I read a chunk of it. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but that also helped my growth.

So when the 5^th chapel came around and presented me with the idea of identifying and submitting my will I realized I needed to do that with this whole intimacy thing. I told God that it was my will to be known intimately and submitted that to Him in faith that he would meet it if it was a true need. It hasn’t been an immediate or clear response from Him, but I can now see the process He’s taking me through to prepare me to have that need truly met. Actually, before I submitted I had a period where I knew I had that need, but I didn’t seem to trust God to meet it, but I knew it wouldn’t be fully met by girls, but I really wanted it to be and made some small efforts to pursue that… but then I realized I wasn’t trusting God (luckily before I did anything excessively inappropriate) and gave that over to Him. I’m still definitely trying to figure out what it looks like for me to have healthy non-romantic relationships with girls. I believe God can use those relationships to partially meet my need, but I have to be careful I’m not looking to them to meet it.

The next cool thing I’ve learned is the idea that we are the church not because we don’t sin, but because we repent. This is something that has been on my heart for a while, but I now have a better understanding of it. A lot of things fell together in my mind during SF class today. The whole idea of death and resurrection as being the way God works in us connected with the idea of the repentance and of the grieving process which we are continually in. Now, I’m trying to figure out what that means practically in my life. I’ve been striving to be quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness with my students. I fear there are things from my past which I need to do that for still, so that is something I will hopefully be praying about as well.

In conclusion: SF has been amazing so far. I have grown a lot this last month, and I hope I can continue to apply it and truly learn it as I head back to Prairie.

Intimacy and Theology

2010-10-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in the King James Version of the Old Testament the word 'know' is used to mean 'have sex with'.

I won't, however, be using it that way for this short blog-post.

I was reading a book by Henri Nouwen called 'Intimacy' a couple days ago.

I've discovered why I'm a helpless/hopeless romantic.

I was talking to a friend the other day. She said it seemed like I wasn't letting her get very close to me. I said it wasn't just her I did that with, and that realization made me sad and lonely.

Nakedness seems to be the highest human expression of vulnerability and sex the highest expression of intimacy.

I've figured out a deep need of mine which partially explains why I struggle with loneliness, lust, infatuation, pornography, aversion to physical touch, strong desires for physical touch, and other things.

I need to be known. I need intimacy. I need to be naked and vulnerable and loved.

This need isn't a bad thing, but I've been looking in the wrong places for it to be met.

I once read a book by Rob Bell called 'Sex God'.

I need to experience genuine intimacy in my relationship with God. Everything else will leave me longing for more. Nothing of this temporal world will do, not even a beautiful woman.

I need to allow myself to be completely naked before Him.

It sounds awkward, but I'm okay with that.

So, that all makes sense to me, but I don't know what to do about it. Except pray.

So Jesus, I ask that you would strip me of my fig-leaves and know me intimately.

Amen

Sitting comfortably in an ugly recliner rocking inconsistently whilst sipping thoughtlessly from a cup half-empty with mediocre luke-warm coffee

2010-09-23T15:18:00.000-07:00

(The correct way to read this poem is out loud and very fast. Punctuation doesn't affect the way it is read, only how it's understood.)

The time is 5 to nine

and my mind isn’t kind, or blind, but I find

the inescapability of my life leaves me longing for a wife.

The tendency towards strife, I find.

Is falling behind, starting to grind?

The gears sound like fears.

Wishing I had a beer in my hand;

Hoping to clear this land,

“Let me steer!”, I demand.

‘No’ she says softly, but not loftily.

In her eyes I peer, as though canned;

I see a tear, and can’t understand

how for a year she could stand

to be near me and my bland

life of cheerless unplanned

disobedient fear of command.

It makes me sick to think that all this stink

is caused by me.

Snapped back to reality.

I pick my nose compulsively.

This poem has no fluency. Incongruency

is the theme which seems to bring along a non-nautical stream

creating a paradoxical toxic full of significance;

empty of meaning.

Logic is fleeting in this brief meeting

with words and concepts;

alluding to absurd nonsense.

Hence the long invisible fence from whence

it came.

Avoiding blame by acting insane

The king wasn’t slain, he feigned pain and brain-lessness

because bliss is ignorance and all this bull shit

which doesn’t seem to fit makes me wanna get lit.

I just lost my whit.

So here I sit throwing a fit;

not knowing how to knit or make fat beats on a kit;

thinking aloud “the Cheat’s legit,

He represents the proletariat.”

I’d marry it, if all this scary shit

would tarry a bit, or carry a bit

of it’s own weight; then I might not be late

forced to hate the great state I’m in;

out-sourced to win;

divorced to sin

on course with next of kin.

I’m vexed within

my complex tin

can of a head

which should be fed with lead. (Bang!!!)

About My Life

2010-08-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

So, after the intern-training trip (see previous post) I've been on Campus at Prairie learning how to be a team leader, preparing for the year, and interacting with students.

I've been doing a lot of in the office work. It's been a really good experience. I'm planning a lesson on contextualization to teach my students. I've worked on updating our website, ordered t-shirts, connected with ministries in Spokane to have my team get involved, written papers, worked towards connecting Discover with the rest of the school, hopped from meeting to meeting, written tons of emails, and much more.

I also spend time and have fun with my team, my fellow interns, and other students.

I have one more week of this, then we (discover) leave to go to the US. There we will do a rafting trip, go to Spokane WA to learn about Church and Urban Ministry, TESOL, and Community Development, and other cool stuff.

That's all for now. Let me know if you have any questions.

Intern Training Trip

2010-08-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

This is a reflective paper I got to write about the trip I went on with the Discover staff team:

As a Discover intern I get to do all kinds of cool stuff. To start this year we went on an intern/director team trip. The first part was up in the Kananaskis backpacking and camping for 5 days and the second part was 5 days in Calgary serving and living in community. I experienced a lot during this trip and learned much in the process. As a beginning to the year this trip will continue to shape many future events and situations. As I reflect on this trip I begin to see the significance in a lot of specific occurrences which I can hopefully turn into helpful tools to be used in future experiences.

On the backpacking trip we took turns leading each day. The first day was led by the directors, the second by the seniors, and the third by the juniors. The first two days of being led felt very natural to me. I had been led by the directors and seniors all last year and I hardly thought about the fact that they were leading me during the trip. When it was our, the juniors, turn to lead I felt quite different. I was not at all used to leading these people. Throughout a lot of the day I was thinking about my actions as a leader and how they were being evaluated by the others. I was in my head most of the day thinking about what we had to do and how to do it best. It was frustrating because our theme for the day was rest, but I felt incapable of modeling that.

Another issue that came up that day was in the way Kendi, Sarah, and I led together. As the day progressed I felt like I was being too up front and dominating. It wasn’t that I felt over-worked; I was just worried that the others would think I was hogging the show. I began trying to play a less dominate role. At one point I asked Kendi to walk up front instead of me, and then later I asked Sarah to do the same. Also, during debrief I held my tongue while Sarah asked some questions even though I had some I wanted to ask, and it was obvious that she was struggling to get responses. Later, when we were debriefing with the directors about our leadership of the day, it came up that we all had different leadership styles. I realized that it made sense for me to be up front, because that is part of how I lead, but for Sarah and Kendi it was better to lead through behind the scenes/supportive roles. I was sort of pushing on them a type of leadership which wasn’t as natural to them and which wasn’t really that necessary at the time for them to do.

Looking back on these experiences from my leadership day there are some things which I notice as being significant. It is apparent that I am quite concerned with what others are thinking about me and my performance. In other words I can be somewhat self-conscious, especially when I have some sort of responsibility and when people I respect are watching. I also learned that I am very ready to follow the senior interns, but somewhat hesitant to lead them. I’m glad that I can follow them so well, but I should not let that define this upcoming year. I may not be leading them a bunch during the year, but I will be leading alongside them and at specific times I will be the main leader. I can see this coming up as a challenge throughout the year especially as I begin to have more responsibilities transferred to me by the seniors.

With this in mind I need to gain confidence in my ability to lead with them and to eventually transition towards doing parts of their job while they are still present. One way I might do this is by building a closer trusting relationship with the senior interns. In doing this I won’t feel like I’m being judged or critiqued when I’m leading and they are present. I need to know that they support me and want to help me grow as a leader, and that they’re not looking to critique me or thinking about how they could do it better. I also need to come to terms with the awkward process of learning how to lead. I am not always going to know what exactly I’m doing or how to do it best, but that is a necessary part of growing. The main way I will overcome my lack of confidence is by submitting to God and recognizing God’s position as Lord and teacher and my position as servant and learner. With this in mind continually I can lead in confidence that God will give me what I need in whatever situations and will work through my mistakes as well as my successes. I must not allow myself to take credit away from God by worrying that my inadequacies will get in the way of whatever it is that God is doing.

There is more to be learned from the situation with the Sarah, Kendi, and myself. Because we were backpacking and with the whole group it was difficult to talk with the other juniors. I felt as though I had to facilitate Kendi and Sarah in being dominant because I couldn’t just talk to them about it. I realized as it was happening that what I was doing wasn’t quite right. It was as though I wanted to teach them something instead being focused on leading with them. This is likely rooted partially in pride. I was assuming that I knew what they needed to learn and that I could facilitate that even though that wasn’t the purpose of us leading together.

Several principles can be gathered from this experience. Good communication is very important. Had I been able to talk to Kendi and Sarah about my thoughts there would have likely been a very different outcome. Along with that it is important to care about what someone else really needs instead of projecting my own assumptions on them. I should also stay focused on the real task and not try and make it about something it wasn’t intended for. The point was for us to learn how to lead together, not for me to lead them and teach them how to lead. So as this year goes on I will seek to care about people enough to communicate well with them, not make assumptions, and not try and elevate myself above them.

During the backpacking trip we had to fill out a small sheet of paper about our expectations of the year to come, what we wanted to gain from it, some obstacles, our contributions, and a prayer. One thing I really noticed was that I wanted to know myself better so that I could find where I fit best and can be most useful. I wanted to know my gifts, my leadership styles, my strengths, and other such things about myself. As I think back on my desire to know myself better two different things come to mind. First, I think it’s good and I am right to want to become more self aware. This will hopefully happen this year as I learn more about reflection and as I open myself to my community. Second, I am worried that I may become, or already be, overly focused on myself. I must learn humility and an others-centeredness, and I hope that will happen in the context of my community as well.

Another experience I had was the transition from camping to Calgary. At the end of the camping trip Kristi and Kyle prepped us for the Calgary portion by reading some of “Irresistible Revolution”. This was a good way of helping me transition into the mindset around our monastic living. However, that first day was very hectic and awkward for me and I didn’t enjoy it a lot. We were always busy with one thing or moving to the next thing. I’m not a city person by nature so walking around in the city right after 5 days in the wilderness was quite a shock. We didn’t get to settle into the place we were staying until that evening because we didn’t have the keys. This awkward transition negatively influenced my outlook on our time in Calgary. It didn’t take long for that to be redeemed, but it would have been better to have started out on a positive note. However, I talked to some others in the group who thought the transition was fine. They had no problem with the way the day went and felt comfortable once in the city.

There were some other examples of transitions during the trip. On the day the juniors were leading the backpacking trip we had a time of silence and meditation on a certain bible passage. This lasted 15 minutes or so then we started discussing the passage with people as we walked. The discussion portion got cut of when we came to a fork and decided to go a way which took us up a big hill we weren’t expecting. I was talking to Kristi later and she said that transition was really rough for her. She had needed some quite time and wished it had gone longer. The unexpected hill upset the positive experience she had been having in silence before God. At the same time Vanessa got a boost of energy from having had some closer communion with God and was loving charging up that hill.

These experiences and others have taught me that transitions are very important, but can be quite difficult to make smooth. They have a large impact on people’s mindsets as they begin a new experience which will often greatly affect the rest of the experience for better or worse. It is also apparent that different people often have varied reactions to a given situation or transition. Looking to the year ahead I need to be sure I am very aware of the many transitions which my students and I will go through. I must do what I can to make them more smooth and positive so that there aren’t negative attitudes and perspectives going into things. I must also recognize that I can’t make general assumptions about what will make a smooth transition or positive experience for everyone. I need to be very conscious of the different team members and seek to understand how I can appeal to all of them.

At the end of that first day in Calgary, which wasn’t a very positive one, we went to this restaurant which had a noisy atmosphere and a modest portion of expensive yet mediocre pizza. Before eating the pizza I was very quiet and disengaged, but after I ate some I became more and more sociable. Once we left the restaurant I got some energy and Andy and I were jumping off walls and climbing stuff.

One day we were trying to figure out what to do for dinner. We went through this long process of moving from one place to another and changing our plans multiple times. During this process I was fairly light-hearted. I thought it was kind of funny how ridiculous we were standing outside a Chinese restaurant in the rain talking for 15 minutes about all these different factors and ideas regarding what we could do for dinner. We ended up driving out towards a superstore to buy food and hot chocolate. Once we got there we saw an IKEA and decided to go eat their 50 cent hot dogs. Once this idea was even mentioned my moral increased, and when we got the hot dogs I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. We ate and laughed and danced to the music in IKEA. Everyone got super happy and we had a great time. It was really quite amazing.

Throughout both the camping trip and the Calgary stay there were times when I became anxious about whether or not there would be enough food. These different experiences have made me realize how much food affects me. It determines my mood to a large degree. I can go from pissed to stoked with not but a hamburger in between. These experiences have also taught me the large role food plays in group interaction. It can be a very simple yet impactful factor. The IKEA story was very much redeemed by hot dogs. The group grew, opened up, and had fun. So although I want to be less consumed by what I consume I also want to recognize the important role food can play in relationships and moral.

I am learning that through the process of reflecting on my experiences I can gain valuable insights and useful tools for future experiences. Throughout my internship I had many meaningful experiences. I got the chance to lead and found that I have some insecurities in doing that. I found I want to learn about myself, yet be focused on others. I realized the importance of transitions and the difficulty in making them positive for everyone. I discovered that a large part of me revolves around food in a somewhat unhealthy way, and that food can play a huge role in individuals and group atmosphere and dynamics. Overall I feel that the trip was a very beneficial experience and I believe I have learned much which I will use throughout the year to come.